Gloryhole etiquette

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Porridge_gun, Jul 27, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    I am going to set up a glory hole near the front of my house but am unsure of the rules surrounding such a marvelous invention.

    I am going to be the only one working it (I'm greedy like that) but am eager not to make mistakes and have my clients / visitors enjoy themselves and have them return over and over.

    The two holes I have cut are large enough for the better endowed gentlemen, am keen on anonymity so am wary of making the hole any bigger, my problem is this. How can you eat out the anus's of passing gentlemen through such a small hole? Am I doing something wrong? How can I get a gob full of parted trumping tube when the hole is only big enough to receive a large penis and possibly the balls.

    PM me for details of the holes, and provided you aren't TA, pack more than 6.5 inches of clean cut or uncut meat pop along and blow your beans.

    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    Busy then? or I'm posting you a swarm of bees.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  3. A good gloryhole looks like this.
     

    Attached Files:

  4. A friend of mine just back from a sojourn in San Fransisco claimed that a really good gloryhole has a large supply of duct tape at hand. Mind you he didnt enlarge on whether this was to reinforce the gloryhole itself or to tie up the victi...... er, I mean customers.
     
  5. How about a selection of glory-holes at different sizes (with flaps to cover when not in use), therefore allowing you to meet the needs of a wider scope of gentleman-anatomy?
     
  6. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    Personally the whole fear of the hatpin through the old chap while one was engaged as it were puts me off the idea.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    I should imagine its to take away the rough edges of the hole reducing splinters to both hampton and lips / tongue.

    Mine however have been machined perfectly and offer comfortable and harmless passage of gland through the hole and into my warm, yet slutty and experienced mouth
     
  8. Have you considered wheelchair friendly glory holes/Ramp access?
    Balloon tying posts?
    Ice cream holders?
     
  9. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    To be honest its all about c0ck.

    I don't care if its fastened to a cripple, a soldier, a sailor a candlestick maker.

    No TA however, unless they send impressive girth pictures prior to turning up and don't tell stories about band camp and hurl in irrelevant TLA's when all I want is a gut full of spaff
     
  10. Are dwarves and midgets to be catered for or are you yet another company who simply does not take into account the ever-growing population of wee people who like cock and bum sport???
     
  11. How are you going to advertise your services?
    What hours are you open, or is it only by prior arrangement?
     
  12. Bring a box.