Gloating at Death

#1
Last year I bought a house, on the documents the vendor stated that she/her family had not had disputes with any neighbours.

Since then we have found out that;

Her partner (who she lived with until just before the sale) was banned from the road after 6pm by court order for threatening two female neighbours.

The police have tried to kick our door down at midnight looking for him for driving without insurance, no tax disc, leaving the scene of an accident and driving whilst incapable through drink.

The CID were round last week looking for him.

He is being pursued for debts by

Lloyds Bank..personal account
Lloyds bank...business account
Lloyds Bank...credit card
MBNA credit card
His accountant for non payment
DVLA for not taxing two cars
His bookie for non settlement of gambling debts
Various minor creditors adding up to £36 K at the last count.

All of this I have to deal with.

Their son stole our front door key from our son and his mother denied that he had it when the school asked for it to be returned even though she had previously admitted it on the phone.

In addition they took with them, in spite of stating on documents that they would not...

the garden shed
the front room light fitting
all the lightbulbs

Between surveying the house and taking posession they trashed the place breaking the bath, knocking sockets off the wall, wrecking the kitchen cabinets.

It goes on.....

Today she died of cancer and I don't give a rat's arrse, my wife thinks I am cruel but if you were a lying b@st@rd when alive you are now just a dead lying b@st@rd.

Am I cruel?

Do I care?

Should I go to the funeral and shite on the coffin?
 
#6
Send a wreath that simply says 'Good riddance you pikey old cow'
 
#7
Sue the scum for telling lies on the documents, then piss on her grave and don't forget to send a "glad the bitch died" card to the family.
 
#9
Turn up a the funeral dressed as a clown with the full one man band outfit, as the coffin goes through the curtains play Taps with a kazoo... or set up a set of decks and play some hardcore Garage.. :dj:
 
#10
jack-daniels said:
After she's been buried, dig her back up and stand her in a wheelie bin outside her house.
Gets my vote,can i suggest decorating poor old mumsy with flashing crimbo lights and a clown hat?
 
#11
cut her face off and wear it while chasing him with a chainsaw, scare the c.u.n.t - may give him a heart attack! 2 for the price of one hahaha
 
#12
SparkySteve said:
I think you should wank into her cold face.

Mid-service.
:lol: nasty man
 
#13
jack-daniels said:
After she's been buried, dig her back up and stand her in a wheelie bin outside her house.
And wear her head as a hat and the skin like a ghillie suit.
 
#14
No, not Taps.
Play the song from the Wizard of Oz
"Heigh Ho the Witch is Dead..."
 
#15
I don't know, you run up a few debts, break a couple of sockets and suddenly you're the bad guy.
Can I have my "Razzle" collection back? they're stashed behind your bath panel.
 
#16
sandmanfez said:
I don't know, you run up a few debts, break a couple of sockets and suddenly you're the bad guy.
Can I have my "Razzle" collection back? they're stashed behind your bath panel.
You should have told her, you toilet.

Guess what my fave word is these week?


P.S. Toppers made my Bunty annual sticky. Dirty man.
 
#17
I think you are a scummy pikey for moving into such an area where they could live. You are on the way up you aspiring gyppo - it is better than your caraven so shut it and get used to your new levels of luxury. I'd like to think you'll not have a car on blocks in the road within weeks and 2 scrapyard dogs living in your garden.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#18
Go to the funeral, dressed like this, and offer to foster her kids.
 

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#19
I think you should have a full credit check done, correct all the mistakes as you will now most likely have a shite credit rating (via the house address). Oh, and if they handed the house over to you with things out of contract you can take them to the small claims court.

Get you son a "My Mum's still Alive" or "Your Mum went to Hell and all she got me was this cr@p T Shirt!" T Shirt to wear at school.
 
#20
I would pass water on her grave, but it sounds to me like she could be fibbing about being dead...
 

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