Gloating at Death

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Furryturd, Sep 25, 2007.

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  1. Last year I bought a house, on the documents the vendor stated that she/her family had not had disputes with any neighbours.

    Since then we have found out that;

    Her partner (who she lived with until just before the sale) was banned from the road after 6pm by court order for threatening two female neighbours.

    The police have tried to kick our door down at midnight looking for him for driving without insurance, no tax disc, leaving the scene of an accident and driving whilst incapable through drink.

    The CID were round last week looking for him.

    He is being pursued for debts by

    Lloyds Bank..personal account
    Lloyds account
    Lloyds card
    MBNA credit card
    His accountant for non payment
    DVLA for not taxing two cars
    His bookie for non settlement of gambling debts
    Various minor creditors adding up to £36 K at the last count.

    All of this I have to deal with.

    Their son stole our front door key from our son and his mother denied that he had it when the school asked for it to be returned even though she had previously admitted it on the phone.

    In addition they took with them, in spite of stating on documents that they would not...

    the garden shed
    the front room light fitting
    all the lightbulbs

    Between surveying the house and taking posession they trashed the place breaking the bath, knocking sockets off the wall, wrecking the kitchen cabinets.

    It goes on.....

    Today she died of cancer and I don't give a rat's arrse, my wife thinks I am cruel but if you were a lying b@st@rd when alive you are now just a dead lying b@st@rd.

    Am I cruel?

    Do I care?

    Should I go to the funeral and shite on the coffin?
  2. I think you should wank into her cold face.

  3. Perhaps a bit of mung diving after the old witch has been buried for a few days?if you are into that sort of thing....
  4. Send the Westboro Baptist Church around ..i hear they're good at wrecking funerals

    "Gods hates DVLA fags" yarda yarda yarda :p
  5. Yes, enjoy her death but you should save that sh#te for HIS coffin I think.
  6. Send a wreath that simply says 'Good riddance you pikey old cow'
  7. Sue the scum for telling lies on the documents, then piss on her grave and don't forget to send a "glad the bitch died" card to the family.
  8. After she's been buried, dig her back up and stand her in a wheelie bin outside her house.
  9. Turn up a the funeral dressed as a clown with the full one man band outfit, as the coffin goes through the curtains play Taps with a kazoo... or set up a set of decks and play some hardcore Garage.. :dj:
  10. Gets my vote,can i suggest decorating poor old mumsy with flashing crimbo lights and a clown hat?
  11. cut her face off and wear it while chasing him with a chainsaw, scare the c.u.n.t - may give him a heart attack! 2 for the price of one hahaha
  12. :lol: nasty man
  13. And wear her head as a hat and the skin like a ghillie suit.
  14. No, not Taps.
    Play the song from the Wizard of Oz
    "Heigh Ho the Witch is Dead..."
  15. I don't know, you run up a few debts, break a couple of sockets and suddenly you're the bad guy.
    Can I have my "Razzle" collection back? they're stashed behind your bath panel.