Gizzits

[Gone2ratshat]

Corporate entertainment is taxable ,probably why it rarely happens .

• Your company can pay for entertaining clients or potential clients, but this will not be an allowable deduction for Corporation Tax purposes. It’s still worth paying from the company though, as it saves you the income tax you would otherwise pay on withdrawing the funds to pay the costs personally.
• Business entertainment and VAT. You cannot recover input tax incurred on the provision of business entertainment expenses. You can normally recover, as input tax, VAT incurred on goods or services used for a business purpose.

 

[loofkar]

Quite so. After peeling the fittie off you and sending her for brews so you could smash the pogey bait.

ah no couldn't bring fitties into the encampment. The preferred rendezvous was the APC park and its cold, rather sharp edged M113s, that at least offered a modicum of privacy.

 

[sirbhp]

I was talking about hospitality, not bribes. When I first came out of the cake I worked for a month or so in a car preparation unit, I always used to refuse tips from the car dealers on the basis I'm being paid to do this . However, I soon had that knocked out of me ! grin .

 

[LordVonHarley]

Back in the early 2000's I worked in an Infrastructure Team organising network installs across London. All out sourced to 3 network companies.
Every Christmas one company would deliver a box of wine for the team. Each bottle was branded with the company name etc.
The wine was bloody awful.

Once the anti bribery policies came in, you where lucky to get a chocolate bar.

 

[Wetneck]

I used to work for a company that supplied a service to a food producer which made items for a large chain restaurant.

In return for not objecting loudly to the terrible food hygiene standards employed in some of the parts of their supply chain (once it had left the factory they didn't give a fig) they gave our staff a large amount of food, collected once a week by one of our reps, that then got divvied out between everyone on a Friday afternoon.

Such a terrible state was their hygiene a lot of people didn't want to take any of it.

Apart from that in a previous life I was in the textiles industry. Out on factory visits across China and the Far East we'd regularly get taken out to very lavish places and given some gorgeous gifts that needed to be crated back (at their expense). Once in China we even got taken out to watch a huge scale military exercise which absolutely scare the bezeejus out of me. Made anything I've ever seen in Europe look pony in comparison.

 

[rgjbloke]

*cough* local council *cough*

New large housing estate on a flood plain immediately upstream of a town that suffers regular flooding in the town centre.

1,000 home housing estate on green belt land.

Both passed on the nod by local council.

Well the two examples I gave of a chap being invited to Germany and another Scotland were firstly a Tory who accepted and went to Germany and secondly a Labour Councillor who declined the invitation.

These were both several years back.

Hillingdon is a Tory Borough and geographically is divided into two halves with the A40 separating them. The northern half of the countrified green bit with large woods, combined with expensive and in some places exclusive housing with some very decent urban zones thrown in with good quality local housing and shopping centres of five separate commercial high streets.

The southern half has been the traditionally more working class side with significant industrial areas and a mixture of cheaper private housing and former Council estates where the vast majority of housing is now private. The southern side is still a decent area but the differences between the two sides of the Borough are very noticeable if you look around.

The Council is Tory controlled and the clique of the Tory party controlling it comes almost exclusively from the northern side of the Borough. Check out the Council Cabinet to see which Cabinet members represent which areas!

The huge bone of contention at the moment is the housing building policy that the Council are forcing on the south of the borough. It’s not building homes that are the problem. It’s the type of housing that is being built.

Every spare piece of land and several pieces of land that had other things on it is being developed into huge blocks of flats. There have been almost thousands of flats built in high rise developments that stick out like ugly concrete and brick jungles group around parts of the south of Hillingdon Borough.

Families with young children need houses with room to move around in and gardens for children to play safely in. Communal areas that make the locality an attractive place to live in and shape the minds of local residents that they like to live there are also an important part of the solution to creating decent communities that thrive.

What we now have to go with these monolithic eyesores are gangs of people armed with knives threatening their neighbours with violence and peddling drugs all over the place. Recently, there were two vicious knife murders less than two weeks apart.

So yeah. I take your point!

 

[Fat_Cav]

It wouldn't surprise me if he ate them in one go!
The Cool Hand Luke walt.

Mate, you're thinking of a different Malky. dingerr's mate is a lean ultramarathon runner and fitness . . .

Hold on! No, you're right, the chunky one would have scoffed them all at once

 

[Fat_Cav]

Many Years back, I was one of three Op Supervisors for a Home delivery company that used lot of spot agency. We all had out favourite agencies., mine was owned by a guy who I eventually got to call a mate.

When I left the company, I asked my mate if I could join his agency and go back to work at my pervious place, as a 7.5t driver as it was easy work. He obliged and offered to forego his fee, so I got 100% of the agency rate paid. I was on over £20k pro rata for a job that commanded £16k.


The same company a year later hoofed a Manager for accepting a bottle of Whisky at Chrimbo and not declaring it. It's all they could pin on him, even though he's been fleecing the company by using agency fuel cards for top up his personal motor to commute.

ETA. the same company too that failed/balls-up/whatever to discipline a delivery driver for using his Fuel card to fuel up his own car, on Boxing Day. Which wasn't rocket science to prove, as there was no trucks out on the road that day.

 

[Whey_Aye_Banzai]

I was 'jiffed' to go on a recce to Kosovo, with other heads of departments and the CO. All those keen bellends booked their flights early and another SSgt and myself left going to see the movement's clerk right till the last moment.

Consequently the only seats left available were 1st Class.

So when we all piled into the aircraft, the CO, RSM, etc, were all at the back of the plane and me and this other SSgt were at the front, in big plush comfy seats. I waved at the plebs behind me before the air stewardesses closed the curtains and we were served conag in proper glasses.

Then when we had to change flights at Vienna, me and this other SSgt left the plebs (CO, RSM, etc) and went and waited in the Executive's lounge and had more free drinks.

Apparently the movement's clerk had a visit from the CO on our return, but he said it wasn't his fault.

 

[Lardbeast]

ah no couldn't bring fitties into the encampment. The preferred rendezvous was the APC park and its cold, rather sharp edged M113s, that at least offered a modicum of privacy.

I cannot begin to imagine your suffering...

 

[loofkar]

I was 'jiffed' to go on a recce to Kosovo, with other heads of departments and the CO. All those keen bellends booked their flights early and another SSgt and myself left going to see the movement's clerk right till the last moment.

Consequently the only seats left available were 1st Class.

So when we all piled into the aircraft, the CO, RSM, etc, were all at the back of the plane and me and this other SSgt were at the front, in big plush comfy seats. I waved at the plebs behind me before the air stewardesses closed the curtains and we were served conag in proper glasses.

Then when we had to change flights at Vienna, me and this other SSgt left the plebs (CO, RSM, etc) and went and waited in the Executive's lounge and had more free drinks.

Apparently the movement's clerk had a visit from the CO on our return, but he said it wasn't his fault.

You deserve an award for sharing this one. I'm giving you 1,000 loofkar points.

 

[Ravers]

If you’re in the public sector you can forget it.

I have to declare any gift (even a meal) over the value of 25 quid.

Most of the companies I work with give out crap goody bags full of branded mugs, lanyards and beanie hats etc. This is usually after we’ve spent 10s of millions of quid with them.

Still, I did get to go and visit a fire pump factory in Holland once and they got us very drunk on expensive whiskey.

I didn’t declare it.

 

[TamH70]

Sadly for me, you lot look like amateurs. I was hoping to see something to strive for herein, but no...

To explain - As a very low level and extremely local politician, I get invites to all sorts of swanky things, well, at least I did until those Chinese twats dropped a petri dish in that lab in Wuhan. I've been to conferences in four and five-star hotels in Saint Andrews, Dunblane, and Glasgow, mit food, drink, bed, and breakfast. I've also attended fire safety meetings and other tenant-focused activities like that in other posh as feck hotels and conference centres that sadly didn't require overnight accommodation but did provide ample fodder to take home in Tupperware containers.

I also scored an invite to Paisley Abbey when they were launching the campaign to have Paisley declared either this year's or last year's City of Culture, something that also may have been fouled up by those Chinese twunts. As far as I know that great Northern shit-hole, I mean jewel of the English tourism industry, Hull, won.

 

[soutie]

Well the two examples I gave of a chap being invited to Germany and another Scotland were firstly a Tory who accepted and went to Germany and secondly a Labour Councillor who declined the invitation.

These were both several years back.

Hillingdon is a Tory Borough and geographically is divided into two halves with the A40 separating them. The northern half of the countrified green bit with large woods, combined with expensive and in some places exclusive housing with some very decent urban zones thrown in with good quality local housing and shopping centres of five separate commercial high streets.

The southern half has been the traditionally more working class side with significant industrial areas and a mixture of cheaper private housing and former Council estates where the vast majority of housing is now private. The southern side is still a decent area but the differences between the two sides of the Borough are very noticeable if you look around.

The Council is Tory controlled and the clique of the Tory party controlling it comes almost exclusively from the northern side of the Borough. Check out the Council Cabinet to see which Cabinet members represent which areas!

The huge bone of contention at the moment is the housing building policy that the Council are forcing on the south of the borough. It’s not building homes that are the problem. It’s the type of housing that is being built.

Every spare piece of land and several pieces of land that had other things on it is being developed into huge blocks of flats. There have been almost thousands of flats built in high rise developments that stick out like ugly concrete and brick jungles group around parts of the south of Hillingdon Borough.

Families with young children need houses with room to move around in and gardens for children to play safely in. Communal areas that make the locality an attractive place to live in and shape the minds of local residents that they like to live there are also an important part of the solution to creating decent communities that thrive.

What we now have to go with these monolithic eyesores are gangs of people armed with knives threatening their neighbours with violence and peddling drugs all over the place. Recently, there were two vicious knife murders less than two weeks apart.

So yeah. I take your point!

I used to “work” for LBH. My old boss insisted his desk be in the far corner, facing the room. Only found out in time it was because he was doing work for others most of the time.

 

[rgjbloke]

I used to “work” for LBH. My old boss insisted his desk be in the far corner, facing the room. Only found out in time it was because he was doing work for others most of the time.

What department was it and when. I was quite well known on the Borough and I knew a lot of the staff there.

 

[soutie]

What department was it and when. I was quite well known on the Borough and I knew a lot of the staff there.

Health and Safety. ‘94 for just under a year, snagged by the private sector then.

 

[TheHatsRevenge]

Bunch of griffters....didn't you learn anything from Owen Patters......ahh ok carry on chaps....nothing to see here....move along now.....

 

[rgjbloke]

Health and Safety. ‘94 for just under a year, snagged by the private sector then.

Were you central H&S next to corporate personal or in one of the departments. I recall at one time, the central lot was run by a little short guy with glasses.

You would almost definitely know me. I was one of the Trade Union guys and always around that area on and off.

 

[CaptainRidiculous]

Were you central H&S next to corporate personal or in one of the departments. I recall at one time, the central lot was run by a little short guy with glasses.

You would almost definitely know me. I was one of the Trade Union guys and always around that area on and off.

Strawbs walt

 

[Civvy Scum]

The media company I worked for had a very strict rule - all freebies had to be declared and handed in (if possible - obviously junkets and drinks and dinner didn't count), and would be auctioned at year end.
We also had to state 'The trip to xyz was paid for by company q'.
Come year end, some of the stuff had mysteriously disappeared. Like an iPhone, and a 1TB external drive.
Surprise surprise.
After that, NOBODY handed in anything, or declared anything.

One set of crooks I used to work for had a similar "auction" policy. On the rare occasion I ever got a gizzit, (usually a bottle of plonk), I never handed it in. Nor did anyone else from my office. Stupid we were not. Particularly after the first Xmas where - very surprisingly - all the winners of the "auction" of the few handed in items were those who generally had a nose of a ill-odoured brown hue based in the head office.