Girls night out

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by Goatman, Aug 7, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    Girls night out

    Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had far too many cocktails.

    Completely trollied and staggering home, as no taxi driver would stop for them, they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they slip behind a headstone or something.

    The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her lucky trapping pants , used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing pricey Victoria's Secret and didn't want to ruin hers, so she grabbed a large ribbon from a wreath on a nearby grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

    The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said,

    "These bloody girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night reeking of gin and gone Commando !"

    "Too right mate " said the other. "That's nothing - Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said,

    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >

    'From all of us at the Fire Station, We'll never forget you!'
     
  2. here is mine
    Husband to Wife.....Sweetheart:
    I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart. Your husband .........






    .............After some days his wife replied:
    Dearest sweetheart, Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expense details:
    1. The Milkman agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
    2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
    3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
    4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items...........
    5. Other expenses 40 kisses


    Please don't worry about me; I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete multiplayer online game for free the month using them. Love You!