Girlfriend

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by mush_dad, Nov 3, 2011.

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  1. My girlfriend climbed on my lap, facing me on the sofa last night.

    "Is that a bone I feel?" she winked.

    "Yeah," I replied. "It's the one that's just snapped in my leg, you fat cunt!"
     
    • Like Like x 3
  2. happy_as_a_hat

    happy_as_a_hat War Hero

    I must learn to check who the OP is on these 'joke' threads so I don't pollute my brain with any more shite from this guy.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. smudge67er

    smudge67er Crow

    Well it does say above his avatar that he's a "member"
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. happy_as_a_hat

    happy_as_a_hat War Hero

    Took a while but I managed (only just) to stop that one going clean over my head!
     
  5. beufighter

    beufighter Old-Salt

    Chosen men??? My arse!!!!!!
     
  6. HHH

    HHH LE

    The jokes about girlfriends, not about you wanting to pick men to bum you !!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. beufighter

    beufighter Old-Salt

    Have a close look at the avatar.
     
  8. beufighter

    beufighter Old-Salt


    Man shagging 30 stone girlfriend asks, can i turn the light off?

    Cutie say's, Why do you find me repulsive?

    No he replys. It's burning my arse!!!!!!
     
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  9. I used to go out with a girl who used to punch me every time she had an orgasm. I didn't mind to much until I found out she was faking them.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. She's so fucking fat that it doesn't matter where you sit, she's still next to you.
     
  11. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    how do you fcuk a fat girl?
    roll her in flour and aim for the wet spot.
     
  12. GunnyMuppet

    GunnyMuppet Swinger

    Slap it hard and ride in on the waves

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using Tapatalk
     
  13. Your girlfriend's so big, she's got a glass eye with a fish swimming in it.
     
  14. Your wife's so massive, she's got smaller fat women orbiting her.
     
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  15. Just been to the doc and showed him my badly bruised cock, then explained I did it in a surfing accident, "Banged it on your board"? he asked, "Nope, the girlfriend walked into the bedroom and I had to slam my laptop quickly".
     
    • Like Like x 3