hi im about to start training in 6 weeks, me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 months and she is in uni a hour away, at the moment i see her for two to three days a week. this is going to change when i go but would like to no of you girls how you felt and hw you delt with it. i just dont want this to split us up.
girlfriend
- Thread starter nipper
- Start date
Find the local nurses home and use them as a 'girlfriend replacement' until such times as you get to see her again. That got me through recruit training. Binned the girlfriend when I got posted to Germany and found many other young fraulines to ease my pain.
Bin her now and save the tears.
Oh and if you drop off her phone number on a pm, I'll make sure she is well looked after when you are off on your 36 month tour of Blairspleasure
Bin her now and save the tears.
Oh and if you drop off her phone number on a pm, I'll make sure she is well looked after when you are off on your 36 month tour of Blairspleasure
If you can't cope with 6 weeks away from each other, you're obviously not meant to be together. Think about the 6 months when you'll be on op tours.
However, on the other hand, it is ONLY 6 weeks... if she's at uni then she'll have enough work to keep her busy - unless it's a mickey mouse course... then she'll be down the student union bar drinking it up!
I'm sure you'll both be fine. Mr Freebie and I have gone from living together for the best part of two years, to only seeing each other once a month (if we're lucky) or longer, if either one of us is working a weekend. We've been like that for the last 15 months... and we're still together. (In fact, it'll be weird when we do get posted together... )
Just remember to cut each other some slack when you do see each other... ply her with chocolate - it always works on me! Or get her a bottle of student wine (lambrusco or lambrini) and one of those cheap silk roses they sell down the pub on a friday night... and she'll be putty in your hands!
Good luck on your course!
However, on the other hand, it is ONLY 6 weeks... if she's at uni then she'll have enough work to keep her busy - unless it's a mickey mouse course... then she'll be down the student union bar drinking it up!
I'm sure you'll both be fine. Mr Freebie and I have gone from living together for the best part of two years, to only seeing each other once a month (if we're lucky) or longer, if either one of us is working a weekend. We've been like that for the last 15 months... and we're still together. (In fact, it'll be weird when we do get posted together... )
Just remember to cut each other some slack when you do see each other... ply her with chocolate - it always works on me! Or get her a bottle of student wine (lambrusco or lambrini) and one of those cheap silk roses they sell down the pub on a friday night... and she'll be putty in your hands!
Good luck on your course!
Six months? I've got bread in the fridge older than that. She's not a girlfriend, she's someone you bumped into. When she's had several of your children, washed your car a couple of times and driven twenty miles to buy you a burger because you said you fancied one, then you can start to worry about her, until then, er, don't.
I bet you're a teenager.
I bet you're a teenager.
G
Lets be honest here, no one on this sight can give you advice because no one here knows you or your girl. Something like this you talk about with your girl or your friends, not strangers over the Internet.
Hell if sheâs a half decent student sheâll be slutting it round the student union for the 100th time by now!! I used to think it was grate sport to âcomfortâ the girls who missed their boyfriends when I was at uni!!
And if youâre a half decent squadie then youâll be out drilling every cheap slut you meet each time your allowed off base.
Hell if sheâs a half decent student sheâll be slutting it round the student union for the 100th time by now!! I used to think it was grate sport to âcomfortâ the girls who missed their boyfriends when I was at uni!!
And if youâre a half decent squadie then youâll be out drilling every cheap slut you meet each time your allowed off base.
I can understand how your feeling. If your g/f is finding the thought of you going away for 6 weeks, with all that testosterone then all you can do is reassure her, tell her how special she is to you etc, it always makes me feel better when my bloke says that when im feeling insecure.
As for you, you can only trust her and just look forward to seeing her after the 6 weeks, if you be more positive about it then time will fly. But like some other people said, if you two can't go 6 weeks without seeing each other, then how are you going to feel when you go away for months on end?
To survive a relationship when someone is in the army, you have both got to be strong ad independant people, it doesn't mean you don't need one another but just to be able to survive alone sometimes.
And........if you two do stay together, then im sure you will come across more obstacles......like her worrying about army birds, or you thinking she'll leave you for a civvy bloke coz she doesn't see you enough. If your menat to be, it will work out.
BUT, be prepared.
As for you, you can only trust her and just look forward to seeing her after the 6 weeks, if you be more positive about it then time will fly. But like some other people said, if you two can't go 6 weeks without seeing each other, then how are you going to feel when you go away for months on end?
To survive a relationship when someone is in the army, you have both got to be strong ad independant people, it doesn't mean you don't need one another but just to be able to survive alone sometimes.
And........if you two do stay together, then im sure you will come across more obstacles......like her worrying about army birds, or you thinking she'll leave you for a civvy bloke coz she doesn't see you enough. If your menat to be, it will work out.
BUT, be prepared.
I have to admit that freebie makes a very good point. Six weeks is nothing, and if you feel that you may not be able to survive it then there must be something wrong. My bf has been sent to iraq for 6months and there was never a question of whether or not we would stay together, and we had only been together for 2months before he had to leave. Yes it's hard to cope not seeing him, but I know he is doing a job that he loves and who am I to stand in the way of that. By the sounds of it you are having second thoughts about joining and using the girlfriend as an excuse. But if she loves you and you the love her then the distance and time spent apart really wont matter, I think nipper you need to sit down and do some serious thinking about what you actually want and talking to the other half might help you sort things out also.
cheers dirty monkey to be honest your right i was starting to think if it was for me when i started to think about what i would miss then i though fook this i want it ill get it and if she loves me like she says then she will stay with me if not then ill still get a new family, the airborne brotherhood
No, this is (amazingly enough) a slice of the ARRSE populace actually doling out some well considered advice - relatively speaking.
Nipper - good luck old chap - unfortunately I tend to agree with some of the comments here - you ain't going to miss your good lady (you'll be w-a-a-a-a-a-y too busy) - and she isn't going to miss you after the first couple of weeks.
Sort it before you go - it will only end badly. IMHO.
PS I should perhaps explain that I firmly believe no soldier should be allowed to have a long-term relationship until they are 25 years old, financially stable and actually been on long ops.
Well, it's a thought...
Nipper - good luck old chap - unfortunately I tend to agree with some of the comments here - you ain't going to miss your good lady (you'll be w-a-a-a-a-a-y too busy) - and she isn't going to miss you after the first couple of weeks.
Sort it before you go - it will only end badly. IMHO.
PS I should perhaps explain that I firmly believe no soldier should be allowed to have a long-term relationship until they are 25 years old, financially stable and actually been on long ops.
Well, it's a thought...
Incidentally, here are the 'Top 10' reasons why men dump their harridans. If any of these ring bells (preferably without an attendant hump), then bin her right away:
1. She's more interested in finding a husband than getting to know me.
2. She doesn't have her own life.
3. She kept pressuring me to get married.
4. She already does my laundry and has sex with me. Why should I marry her?
5. Bad sex.
6. She cheated on me.
7. She wouldn't give me any space.
8. She tried to get me to marry her by getting pregnant.
9. Nag. Nag. Nag.
10. She didn't challenge me. Boring.
11. Added: You return from Ops to find the fcuking little biatch has stolen all your fcuking furniture.
The link to this list is here if any of our ARRSE laydeeez want a few pointers. The site is run by one 'Lisa Daily' - the author of 'Stop Getting Dumped! (All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less)'.
Wanna bet??
1. She's more interested in finding a husband than getting to know me.
2. She doesn't have her own life.
3. She kept pressuring me to get married.
4. She already does my laundry and has sex with me. Why should I marry her?
5. Bad sex.
6. She cheated on me.
7. She wouldn't give me any space.
8. She tried to get me to marry her by getting pregnant.
9. Nag. Nag. Nag.
10. She didn't challenge me. Boring.
11. Added: You return from Ops to find the fcuking little biatch has stolen all your fcuking furniture.
The link to this list is here if any of our ARRSE laydeeez want a few pointers. The site is run by one 'Lisa Daily' - the author of 'Stop Getting Dumped! (All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less)'.
Wanna bet??
Firstly, you're joining the Army, stop being a fricking wuss. I wasted what should have been the best years of my career moping over a lass and, listen carefully, if the relationship had been as strong as I thought it was - it would have lasted, not ended in a nasty explosion of shouting, tears and thrown kitchen ware.
Yes you want this to last, that's normal, but you are about to meet two feck off great brick walls that both are you are going to have to deal with:
1) When you are in, there are 3 people in your relationships with ANY other human being - you, them and the Army. The Army wins every time. That stands for girfriends, mates, family, pets, favourite wnaking sock, the works. You and the people in your life had better deal with that or you need to find another job. By the way, the real kicker, especially when you're young, is that the Army always wins because deep down you want it to. Running around the cuds doing the job is more fun than being someone's boyfriend/husband/fcukbuddy. That changes when you get older, but don't hamstring your ability to enjoy the first, responsibility free years of your career. You need to be able to go anywhere, do anything, volunteer for courses and jollies and make the most of being a young soldier without worrying about a lass back home. Cruel but true, trust me.
2) People change. When I say that I mean EVERYONE changes. You're about to go through the single biggest change of your life so far. When you get to full screw look in the mirror and remember where you where right now, you'll see.
That goes for your lass too, she has a lot of things to learn about herself and her own life - what she wants from it and where she wants to take it.
So, way forward? Same with everything else - sit down, talk about it and be honest. let her know that the bloke who you'll be in 6 months is going to be drastically different to who you are now. You'll have COMPLETELY different goals and motivations. That doesn't mean that you won't want her around, but it means you'll have to both work a feck of a lot harder than her mates have to with their local boyfriends.
She also needs to know that no matter how hard she tries, if you're serious about your job (and by chr1st the Paras will expect you to be) she will come second. At least to begin with.
Don't burn your bridges just yet though, because it's a tough old course and you might fail. Going back home having come off the log, just to see your ex lass doing some civvy is a lot to take. But then you deserve it for coming off the log.
Yes you want this to last, that's normal, but you are about to meet two feck off great brick walls that both are you are going to have to deal with:
1) When you are in, there are 3 people in your relationships with ANY other human being - you, them and the Army. The Army wins every time. That stands for girfriends, mates, family, pets, favourite wnaking sock, the works. You and the people in your life had better deal with that or you need to find another job. By the way, the real kicker, especially when you're young, is that the Army always wins because deep down you want it to. Running around the cuds doing the job is more fun than being someone's boyfriend/husband/fcukbuddy. That changes when you get older, but don't hamstring your ability to enjoy the first, responsibility free years of your career. You need to be able to go anywhere, do anything, volunteer for courses and jollies and make the most of being a young soldier without worrying about a lass back home. Cruel but true, trust me.
2) People change. When I say that I mean EVERYONE changes. You're about to go through the single biggest change of your life so far. When you get to full screw look in the mirror and remember where you where right now, you'll see.
That goes for your lass too, she has a lot of things to learn about herself and her own life - what she wants from it and where she wants to take it.
So, way forward? Same with everything else - sit down, talk about it and be honest. let her know that the bloke who you'll be in 6 months is going to be drastically different to who you are now. You'll have COMPLETELY different goals and motivations. That doesn't mean that you won't want her around, but it means you'll have to both work a feck of a lot harder than her mates have to with their local boyfriends.
She also needs to know that no matter how hard she tries, if you're serious about your job (and by chr1st the Paras will expect you to be) she will come second. At least to begin with.
Don't burn your bridges just yet though, because it's a tough old course and you might fail. Going back home having come off the log, just to see your ex lass doing some civvy is a lot to take. But then you deserve it for coming off the log.
Poppy said:
so next time I go out I shall wear red and stand at the corner of the bar, occasionally gravitating to the middle of the room, wearing an "I'm happy to be here smile" 
Nipper - pay close attention to RTFQ's post - if you maintain this relationship, not only will you be letting the Army down, you'll be letting yourself down. Oh, and dooming yourself to a life trapped with an incredibly annoying bint - cos they all are - see Poppy's 'post'.
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