Girlfriend going to Sandhurst!

#1
Hi there peeps,

For my first post i need help please. As the title says my GF is joining up soon and i am wondering if anyone else has a GF/Wife as an officer? Any advice/pointers would be great, not a military man myself but i do have an established career that can be moved most places.
 
#2
Oh, I misread the title. When you said she was going "too Sandhurst", I thought you were making some sort of statement - as in "she's going soooo Sloane". Having ascertained that you're seeking advice, I'll pre-empt the deluge and suggest that you prepare yourself for the most fraught period your relationship has gone through to date. If it survives the Officer Factory, it should hold good until the first operational deployment..... that'll give you a few extra weeks.
 
#4
And you expect her to be faithful?? She'll be shagging every Rupert she can get her hands on!!!
 

untallguy

Old-Salt
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#6
Voimei, old lad, if you are prepared for any one of the following to (possibly) occur and feel that you can both survive them, you'll do OK.

At Sandhurst:

1. She develops a serious case of 'Bergan Bum' - not a nasty rash but a natural extension to a lady's pear-shaped figure as a result of speed-eating combined with more PT than she is used to.

2. She starts speaking a distinct sub-set of the English language (ie army-slang) and you don't understand it - eg "I'm f%^&ing threaders with my colour bloke. He keeps gripping me about trying to proff from the Q bloke. He's already caught me wazzing bergans round in the back of the wagon - I'll probably be on rops for this one." etc etc

3. She develops a large number of male friends - all of whom are physically fit, speak the same sub-set of English, have the same recently shared experiences, get pissed with her frequently and see her far more frequently than you do.

4. Her Colour-Sergeant at Sandhurst becomes the most important man in her life.

After Sandhurst:

5. Her Young Officers' Course is in the middle of nowhere (ie a bastard for her to escape from/you to get to) and she starts talking about a job of which you have limited comprehension.

6. She gets posted to some godforsaken outpost in Germany and para. 3 is repeated.

7. You turn up to a Regimental dinner night and have to put up with the more stupid of her new male friends as you're in black tie and they're all in mess kit - ie they think they are better than you (despite the fact you will probably be earning more than them if you are any good at you're established career).

8. She does her turn in Iraq/Afghanistan/the Balkans the same as the rest of us and complains as your blueys aren't loving enough.

The list can go on and on. As long as you are prepared for some separation, some (minor) personality changes in her, an increase (hopefully) in her physical fitness and realise that, at times, her job will be much more important than you are, you should be fine.
 

untallguy

Old-Salt
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#7
untallguy said:
Voimei, old lad, if you are prepared for any one of the following to (possibly) occur and feel that you can both survive them, you'll do OK.

At Sandhurst

1. She develops a serious case of 'Bergan Bum' - not a nasty rash but a natural extension to a lady's pear-shaped figure as a result of speed-eating combined with more PT than she is used to.

2. She starts speaking a distinct sub-set of the English language (ie army-slang) and you don't understand it - eg "I'm f%^&ing threaders with my colour bloke. He keeps gripping me about trying to proff from the Q bloke. He's already caught me wazzing bergans round in the back of the wagon - I'll probably be on rops for this one." etc etc

3. She develops a large number of male friends - all of whom are physically fit, speak the same sub-set of English, have the same recently shared experiences, get pissed with her frequently and see her far more frequently than you do.

4. Her Colour-Sergeant at Sandhurst becomes the most important man in her life.

After Sandhurst

5. Her Young Officers' Course is in the middle of nowhere (ie a bastard for her to escape from/you to get to) and she starts talking about a job of which you have limited comprehension.

6. She gets posted to some godforsaken outpost in Germany and para. 3 is repeated.

7. You turn up to a Regimental dinner night and have to put up with the more stupid of her new male friends as you're in black tie and they're all in mess kit - ie they think they are better than you (despite the fact you will probably be earning more than them if you are any good at you're established career).

8. She does her turn in Iraq/Afghanistan/the Balkans the same as the rest of us and complains as your blueys aren't loving enough.

The list can go on and on. As long as you are prepared for some separation, some (minor) personality changes in her, an increase (hopefully) in her physical fitness and realise that, at times, her job will be much more important than you are, you should be fine.
Apologies for the last one - spelling a bit off.

Reminder to self - buy and use dictionary.
 
#11
Chances are she'll get shagged rotten by her mess mates/permanent staff or turn into a Rug-muncher and then get shagged rotten by a load of bull dykes - OR if she's like an old A/Adj of ours, get shagged rotten by all of the above! Then turn up at her battalion and carry on the motion.

The Army is not a place for women. Distrust her motives. Has she got any male tendancies? Is she a rampant feminist? Has she got a chip on her shoulder about being as good as a man? All highly suspect.

Join the TA mate, then at least you'll have a Mess Kit to turn up in when you go to a military 'do'!
 
#12
Queensman said:
Join the TA mate, then at least you'll have a Mess Kit to turn up in when you go to a military 'do'!
I'd second that - at least you can have some shared experience. I was in a similar situation situation to yours a few years back, but we'd been married a fair while and been in another service together. By then I'd been civvy side several years, but ended up joining the Reserves as it made life easier!

At least the looks have gone from shocked to merely surprised now on the Married Patch when I have to explain that, no, it's not me that's taking up the posting, but my wife! I guess the Army is gradually being dragged into C21!
 
#13
Gotta join the band wagon on this one, suspect she wont be your girlfriend for much longer. Year in sandhurst crying on the phone about how hard it is. Then gets to the field army and is completely swamped by snaking squaddie cnuts (you know we all are so dont start). Finally gives in to some handsome chap cos they now have more in common.

Job done
 
#14
When does she start? We need to know because we'll need to mark off the calendar to set up the sweepstakes as to what point over the coming 44 weeks she'll kick you into touch.

To make it interesting, when the time comes, please drop us a line to let us know whether she gives you the good news by phone, letter, email or text (can almost guarantee it won't be face-to-face). We can get a book running on that too.

No offence intended, it's nothing personal- that's just the way it goes. Chin up, old boy! ;)

(Edited to add- You don't take a sandwich to a banquet.)
 
#16
''Sympathy' - Comes between Sh1t and Syphilis, Sir!' As my CSM told me once at RMAS!!
 
#18
LittleMissSunshine said:
So - do no relationships survive RMAS then???
Of course they do. It does need inhuman dedication (and lack of any better opportunity :) ) to make it so. I went to the Officer Factory as a recently maried type and even that took us to a gnat's whisker of a parting of the ways. If its going to work, it will work. If it ain't, RMAS will give you an opportunity to find out - in double quick time.
 
#19
So what is it that causes the problem.... the time apart (stand you in good stead for after RMAS surely?) the lack of communication or the new "opportunities" that arise as the year at Sandhurst progresses.....?
 

maninblack

LE
Book Reviewer
#20
I'll add a grown up view before the rest get back to lewd comments.

She will spend her time with like minded, fit, dedicated people with their onw values, ethics and codes of practice. She will develop a kahki brain.

You will be a student/accountant/advertising executive/salesman who will not be able to relate to her values etc.

Frankly, the relationship has not got a snowball in hell's chance of working as in 4 weeks from starting she will not be the person you love, she will be a true individual being trained in a different world and you will be an alien in her eyes (oh yes, you will also appear very parochial and boring) You would have more chance of a working relationship with a Thai mail order bride.
 

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