Ginger Milk

Discussion in 'Cookery' started by Cuddles, Jan 7, 2010.

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  1. As the festive season dims into but a distant memory, leaving scarred livers and dialysis to mark it's passing, I recommend to you all that wondrous invention..."Ginger Milk" or as it is perhaps better known down south...IRN-Bru


    It is not well know that IRN-Bru was originally developed, like LSD, as a cure for the common cold. A technician from Barr's labs noticed whilst riding his cycle home that he felt sentient, his runny eyes had cleared up and that he was able to fart without passing solid faecal matter. A little more research and the hangover was no longer a problem for Scottish, originally, and later international p1ssheads.

    The drink became a fixture in most Scottish drunks' wardrobes and no-one from the Procurator fiscal to the scaffie would leave home without a trusty bottle of Ginger Milk. Although much of the potent brew is now manufactured in Mansfield, it remains a true icon of Scottishness. No truly piss-arsed Scotsman will set out on the rerr terr wi'oot stashing some IRN-Bru in the rescue fridge, alongside a hair of the dog and some sliced sausage.

    I believe it was Oscar Wilde himself who said “I once tasted Irn-Bru. It was like having my eyes plucked right out of my head and I awoke several days later in the middle of a field, naked, with a traffic cone stuck up my arse.” He was quite correct.

    Gentlemen, it was Rabbie Burns - or possibly myself come to think of it - who once wrote "An ye go oot boozin' an the flat and wauk wi a mouth like an oold nun's twat, then drink ginger milk and e'er ye've spat, a mon's a mon for aa'that..."

    I give you, and the world, the finest dyspepsia and jagged bonnet-buster known tae man...IRN-Bru!

    (Made in Scotland and Nottinghamshire...fae girrrrders!)

    Perhaps somebody Irish could have a word about Red Lemonade?

  2. You sir are then a lucky, lucky man. Apart from your chalfonts which must be murdering ye.
  3. a curious fact unearthed in 24AMB days in colchester.
    When 19 Reg RA were wheeling Light Gun on and off White 1, they caused a spike in exports/imports of Ginger milk to/from East Anglia and also brought down the average dental health of the whole garrison quite significantly!
  4. My dear fellow, you can get low-sugar versions now. Anyway as a hangover cure it is head and shoulders better than that stuff your small brown privates used to chaw on!
  5. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor


    Many thanks for the salute to our Other National Drink.

    Many's the 'morning after' that has been revived by this magic tincture thus enabling that most sought after condition 'ready to continue drinking'.

    Combined with that other restorative 'The Full Scottish Breakfast' it has brought many a fine man back to the upright position.
  6. udipur

    udipur LE Book Reviewer

    Bearing in mind that Scotland is the only country in the world where Coca-Cola isn't the best selling soft drink...

    Respect for that and many other efforts.
  7. Yes, on the tomb of the unknown drunken Jock IRN-Bru will be carved along with Lorne Sausage, black pudding, tatty-scone...I'm sorry I can't go on, I am too emotional...