Ginger cat in a garden...!!!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by sweet_cheek, May 13, 2010.

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  1. As an active person and a fun of outdoor activities I would rather say that I love the nature in any type of form and shape it comes. But what I can't stand is my next door neighbour's fat, ugly and ginger cat that is pissing all over my garden. My lovely petunias started dying of unknown for me disease and a stone paved path in the garden is turning yellow. Enough is enough...!!

    When I was younger, that kind of problem would be eliminated with a sling and a sharp stone. To avoid starting a third world war with my neighbours I turn for advice.

    SC
     
  2. Put a dead starfish in your garden cats love them but it kills them, failing that get a greyhound they love cats and can eat a whole one.
     
  3. I would suggest that you change the radiator coolant in your car - you just know that this is one of those jobs that never normally gets done, but should be done every two or three years.

    Oh, please remember that antifreeze is nice and sweet tasting, but highly toxic to animals especially cats - so make sure you don't leave a saucer of antifreeze lying about.

    Would you like any more tips on car maintenance?
     
  4. 6mm plastic bb pellet in the arrse will sort it out :twisted:
    job jobbed
     
  5. Garden centres sell ultrasonic and chemical deterrents. I've used both with mixed success.

    Pee in a watering can yourself - water garden. You won't smell it, but Cat's will and tend to avoid. It's not particularly long-lasting. I've also heard of using lion manure if you're near a zoo - might be a bit too much effort.

    I finally present the nuclear (illegal) option and in no way recommend it:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1042370/18-cats-poisoned-animal-hating-psychopath-mile-radius.html
     
  6. When changing the chip pan oil always ensure it is hot and then throw into the garden, if said cat is strolling by at the time it is not your fault is it?
     
  7. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    You forgot to fuck it first! :hump:
     
  8. I can't stand cats, whether ginger, tangerine or blue. In my garden and on my property, their arrse is mine. I saw one on the wall last week trying to eat young birds (a good sport admittedly) so I stared it out then got fed up and lashed out with the cup I had in my hand. Didn't exactly hit where I wanted (face) but caught it on the back leg. Seen it since but it limps past without a second glance at my gaff. Cup broke but it was worth it.
     
  9. terroratthepicnic

    terroratthepicnic LE Reviewer Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Runners

    Buy an electric fence (at least a wire anyway) to surround the property, then coat it in cat nip. I doubt they would be back for more.
     
  10. With lots of masking tape handy in case it splits
     
  11. I see theres some not too bad ideas comming through. I was thinking of mixing rat poison with Whiskas and then paying condolence to my neighbours with a little pet gift...a fish. :)
     
  12. This may work. The cat is so not affraid of my presence that I could even catch him by myself. Or I could just come up close enough and 'blowtorch' him. The fcuker got so much fur that its gonna glow for whole night. At least the council can save a bit on street lights.... :)
     
  13. 12 gauge shot gun and a cartridge full of rock salt :twisted:
    Make the fuckers squeal from a distance or die if close :)
     
  14. Try tuna and slug pellets...every time!

    I am actually best at attracting ginger pussy not repelling it!