Giant death ray machine of doom

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by CQMS, Aug 10, 2009.

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  1. The last time they fired this sucker up it blew up the financial sector, when will these "scientific" types realise the consequences of mucking about with large hadrons. When the they fire it up again in November it'll probably blow up christmas.

  2. why can,t they fire the fcuker up during ramadam,it might do the western world a great favour.
  3. Its on half power, so does that mean half an Armageddon?
  4. maybe it'll just melt all the chocolate in time for easter, if thats a feat that could ever be realised!
  5. Why not?They bring the Easter eggs out of cold store in September :!:
  6. Why dont we fire Gordon Brown and Peter Mandelson around it in different directions. When they collide they could form a giant arrsehole.
  7. That's not a bad idea as all the cabinet would be sucked into the black ...err ...arrse-hole.

    Actually, having read your post again, I think you were on the right track with the first nine words. You should have stopped at that. :D
  8. Don't worry. They'll just break it again.

  9. "... yeah - I know, we'll take some hadrons and photons and sh*t and fire them round this ma-ooosive inner-circle tube thingy powered byya-ooge fook-off magnets to smash them together. The resultant big bang-bang will generate a shed load of mini black holes, that could possibly end the world!!!!"

    Higgs Boson my arrse... they're not boffins - they're squaddies with a couple of GCSE's...
  10. Resonance cascade anyone?

    I'll get my coat.....
  11. When the 'Large Hardon Collider' is fired up to half-strength, the only 'thingy' that will 'happen' I hope is that Cyclops McDoom will have a 'happening', and fall off his Bar Stool......

    Its all a conpsiracy for Mr Mendacious to take over as block NCO from McDoom...... Mind you, this will probably also bring out all the Tree Hugging Loonies and other 'Armageddon' Nutcases to demonstrate in public. Maybe there will be letters written to Cyclops telling him to demand the issue of millions of Tin Foil Hats to the Public....

    Well....I'm ahead of the game there.... I have just bought a roll of Kitchen Foil... and I will be making Tin Foil Hats.... and a pair of Tin Foil Undercrackers just in case.... One never knows..... :oops:

    I suspect that I will be talking Gonads as usual the following day.... :oops:
  12. I love the idea of this thing going pearshaped and forming a black hole if only so we can wave goodbye to France as it is falls over the event horizon and out of existence.

    OK so we'll follow them but small victories count.
  13. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I think it's a great idea to fire Mandelson at Broon at relativistic velocities using the machine, you'll get a brown hole that eats itself!
  14. I heard that the reason why it broke in the first place was that an engineer left a screwdriver somewhere along the tube before they switched it on. Another version was that it wasn't a screwdriver, but a can of Carlsberg.

    The official version is that helium gas leaked into it somehow.

    I do hope the Carlsberg / screwdriver story is true. That would be a classic.

  15. i doubt it, i've never seen an engineer fitter with a screwdriver 8O