Getting rid of crap pets

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by brettarider, Jan 27, 2008.

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  1. Having just arrived home with the GF we have noticed that one of her son's Guinea pigs has pegged it. Now doing the decent thing I have scooped it up and dumped it in to a Wini Mandela and tipped it into the bin.

    So any ideas as to hide the fact the little cnut is sleeping with the rubbish :)
  2. Oh, sorry I thought this said get rid of crap hats 8O
  3. Why would you want to hide it?
  4. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    You could always say that the guinea pig was one of the "Iraqi Them" and that as a result of a guinea pig ambush you were forced to defend yourself. Sadly, being Iraqi Them it had to die in the ensuing melee.

    You can console your o/h's son by explaining that it now rests in the Silver cask Of Honour, and will shortly be transported upon the Municipal Cart Of Glory, unto the Regional Incinerator Of Doom.

    After that, you take your own chances.
  5. Tell him you fed it to the dog. That's what my dad did, I was so relieved that I didn't have to clean up any more of the little fockers sh1t, I gave the dog a hug.
  6. freeze it then fire it out of a spud gun, might as well provide some entertainment for the kids ......... erm

  7. Will the little thing get better do you think?

    May I suggest a vet, they work wonders with sick animals
  8. Send it to Ray Mears for an ingredient in one of his "survival stews", you can then tell the lad that his pet has gone off to be a TV star :)
  9. Mince it and smear it in your b0llocks, then make him lick it off you
  10. Is that what you do with the hamsters when you've split them? :lol:
  11. Broaden the boy's mind by telling him that, after much deliberation, you and the GF have decided to reject all monotheistic relegions and forthwith you have renounced the single god head myth as perpetuated throughout the ages.

    Further, announce that both you and your GF (hereinafter now known as Handmaiden) wish to follow more traditional, earthier values. To that end, you will now both adopt a Pagan lifestyle and hark back to a time where man was more in tune with Nature and her wonderous bounty.

    Then inform the young warrior that you have begun the process by lobbing the deceased example of genus Caviidae over the fence into next door's composter.

    If I can be of any further assistance...........................
  12. Why didn't you skin it and wear its fur as a hat?

    When my dog pokes it, I'm making a coat out of him. I don't care if it's ginger, it'll be bloody warm.
  13. Since you're in Ayrshire, why not take it to Cumnock. They'll eat it.

    Of course, you'll have to be careful not to slow down too much as you drive through, or they'll have you as well.
  14. Turn it into a Davie Crockett hat for his Action Man :D