"Getting out" - Extremely unhappy soldier

#1
Hi all, not sure if I've posted within the right section but this is on behalf of my mate.

Basically he's having a really hard time at his unit, i don't want to give out any details as he fears if anyone finds out then it's gonna come back on him. Ever since he rocked up he's been subject to bullying, which resulted in 4 AGAI's (within a year) 3 of which are absolute nonsense, handed out within an hour. And the RSM seems to be abusing the AGAI system. Personally i fear this might be possible racism, he isn't white, but is English.

He's actually a fairly quiet lad, real good bloke. So its a shame to see him upset. He's supposed to be posted soon, but due to legal trouble outside of work that has now been postponed. He did visit the padre because i told him too, which couldn't and didn't help, and actually got him in more trouble when the badge found out.

I know during training after your DAOR date closes, you can still get out through the unhappy soldier route which is a nuisance, is this the same within unit?? He wishes to end his army career but he still has around 11 months on the cards before he can hand in his chit. And now he fears seeing welfare or RCMO because it will PROBABLY result in another bullsh*t AGAI which they'll label some sort of discipline problem.

Can anyone shed some light please? Thank you for reading.

Cheers
 
#2
Race card played, stand by.

 
#3
Hi all, not sure if I've posted within the right section but this is on behalf of my mate.

Basically he's having a really hard time at his unit, i don't want to give out any details as he fears if anyone finds out then it's gonna come back on him. Ever since he rocked up he's been subject to bullying, which resulted in 4 AGAI's (within a year) 3 of which are absolute nonsense, handed out within an hour. And the RSM seems to be abusing the AGAI system. Personally i fear this might be possible racism, he isn't white, but is English.

He's actually a fairly quiet lad, real good bloke. So its a shame to see him upset. He's supposed to be posted soon, but due to legal trouble outside of work that has now been postponed. He did visit the padre because i told him too, which couldn't and didn't help, and actually got him in more trouble when the badge found out.

I know during training after your DAOR date closes, you can still get out through the unhappy soldier route which is a nuisance, is this the same within unit?? He wishes to end his army career but he still has around 11 months on the cards before he can hand in his chit. And now he fears seeing welfare or RCMO because it will PROBABLY result in another bullsh*t AGAI which they'll label some sort of discipline problem.

Can anyone shed some light please? Thank you for reading.

Cheers
My mate Dave says you smell funny.
 
#4
Race card played, stand by.

Yep that is indeed MY opinion as there's shed loads of it thrown about within all services, everyday. Most of it as banter and accepted although not all of it is banter, is it.

Roger. "Stand by for ridiculing"
 
#7
The last time I heard someone try throw the race card was in my LAD when one of the craftsmen declared to our sergeant "It's cause I'm black isn't it?" To which the response "No it's because you're a ****, now **** off and do it." was given. I chuckled.
 
Z

Zarathustra

Guest
#8
If he honestly feels he's being bullied then why hasn't he approached any of the official channels available? There are various help lines advertised in places like Soldier which are outside of the CoC and if it's really that bad then he could always go to the complaints commissioner.

A quick search for british army bullying turned up JSP 763 and the Amrys LGBT website http://www.proud2serve.net/images/downloads/1043_20101208-JSP763_ Dec_10_Reissue-final-U.pdf
 
#9
If he feels it's an E&D issue, then as Crow bag has pointed out, tell your friend to go through the army E&D system which is actually very good. His first port of call should be putting his feet in one of his units EDAs in tray which will start the ball rolling. As a unit EDA myself, I know the system is good and it works.
 
#11
If he honestly feels he's being bullied then why hasn't he approached any of the official channels available? There are various help lines advertised in places like Soldier which are outside of the CoC and if it's really that bad then he could always go to the complaints commissioner.

A quick search for british army bullying turned up JSP 763 and the Amrys LGBT website http://www.proud2serve.net/images/downloads/1043_20101208-JSP763_ Dec_10_Reissue-final-U.pdf
Thank you for the reply crow_bag & buggrit, i'll pass this on just now. I think the result of the padre not helping has put him off as he's been agai'd for that too! But i'll make sure he does this.

He hasn't claimed it racism or even suggested it, that was indeed ME suggesting that perhaps it just is. As he isn't a c*nt and he has and is turning up the to the work parades as given, and hasn't fought against it.

The legal trouble is a simple drunk and disorderly, basically back chatting police when he felt they were being unfair. He's due to appear in court next month and his posting was supposed to be a few days after the court date. He was holding on until he got posted which would of solved all of this unhappiness, but now its not happening and he's being kept in his original unit.
 
#12
Is there a reason he can't just buckle down & do as he's told?
After the badge vowed to make his time hell at the unit, handing out AGAI's like they are Christmas presents, i think he's handling it very well by attending the work parades even though he knows he isn't in the wrong
 
#13
If he gobbed off to the police how do you know he has not being gobbing off at other times?
 

TheresaMay

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
#14
I know one or two 'really good blokes' who are generally quiet and in any other walk of life could be great employees and easy to get on with. But it's their Service that constantly lets them down - being unable to grasp the idea of turning the iron on before using it... turning up to parades late or with the wrong kit - these decent guys really are military clusterfucks and just not suited to Army life.

What I'm getting at is that your mate sounds like he's not cut out to get along in green; not everybody is. And it sounds like his mind is made up to jump ship which is the first step. Unfortunately for him, it sounds like (fair or unfair) he's now got a bad 'rep' which means the slightest glitch in his conduct will set the tilt-switches off. If he's the good bloke you say he is, what you and his other buds now need to do is pull together and look after the guy best you can - i.e. good old fashioned buddy-buddy checking his dress before you get on parade, making sure he's never late - all the good team stuff they teach you in your early days. Keep his spirits up by reminding him however long he's got left will go quicker if he keeps his nose clean and tries to enjoy life for what it is. Ignore all the other bullshit - that's just taking the rough with the smooth. It's all a big game, and he needs to play it now more than ever.

One last thing - be very careful with making official complaints. What you need are indisputable facts that cannot be swept under the rug. If you have those - then tell him to get out a fresh bottle of moral courage and take the bastards on and hit them with the justice they deserve. If that is the case, then he will need his muckers more than ever.

I hope it works out for him.
 
#15
Hi all, not sure if I've posted within the right section but this is on behalf of my mate.

Basically he's having a really hard time at his unit, i don't want to give out any details as he fears if anyone finds out then it's gonna come back on him. Ever since he rocked up he's been subject to bullying, which resulted in 4 AGAI's (within a year) 3 of which are absolute nonsense, handed out within an hour. And the RSM seems to be abusing the AGAI system. Personally i fear this might be possible racism, he isn't white, but is English.

He's actually a fairly quiet lad, real good bloke. So its a shame to see him upset. He's supposed to be posted soon, but due to legal trouble outside of work that has now been postponed. He did visit the padre because i told him too, which couldn't and didn't help, and actually got him in more trouble when the badge found out.

I know during training after your DAOR date closes, you can still get out through the unhappy soldier route which is a nuisance, is this the same within unit?? He wishes to end his army career but he still has around 11 months on the cards before he can hand in his chit. And now he fears seeing welfare or RCMO because it will PROBABLY result in another bullsh*t AGAI which they'll label some sort of discipline problem.

Can anyone shed some light please? Thank you for reading.

Cheers

Light news day at the Grauniad today then ?
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#16
I cannot help you and usually stay out of threads where my input cannot help, but...

but this is on behalf of my mate.
ARRSE is massively secure and borders on the paranoid when it comes to Persec. For obvious and very good reasons. Why is your 'mate' getting you to come here asking advice when he could register as (made up name) and ask himself?

i think he's handling it very well


You think you know what he is thinking? Nobody knows what anybody is thinking standing at the bus stop, much less in a stress situation. See my comment above.

Not a dig. Just a suggestion. Hope it helps. And, out.
 
#17
I know one or two 'really good blokes' who are generally quiet and in any other walk of life could be great employees and easy to get on with. But it's their Service that constantly lets them down - being unable to grasp the idea of turning the iron on before using it... turning up to parades late or with the wrong kit - these decent guys really are military clusterfucks and just not suited to Army life.

What I'm getting at is that your mate sounds like he's not cut out to get along in green; not everybody is. And it sounds like his mind is made up to jump ship which is the first step. Unfortunately for him, it sounds like (fair or unfair) he's now got a bad 'rep' which means the slightest glitch in his conduct will set the tilt-switches off. If he's the good bloke you say he is, what you and his other buds now need to do is pull together and look after the guy best you can - i.e. good old fashioned buddy-buddy checking his dress before you get on parade, making sure he's never late - all the good team stuff they teach you in your early days. Keep his spirits up by reminding him however long he's got left will go quicker if he keeps his nose clean and tries to enjoy life for what it is. Ignore all the other bullshit - that's just taking the rough with the smooth. It's all a big game, and he needs to play it now more than ever.

One last thing - be very careful with making official complaints. What you need are indisputable facts that cannot be swept under the rug. If you have those - then tell him to get out a fresh bottle of moral courage and take the bastards on and hit them with the justice they deserve. If that is the case, then he will need his muckers more than ever.

I hope it works out for him.
Great post Cameron, cheers! Definitely trying to keep him strong, this is the stuff that some people have committed suicide over - BULLYING. What happened to 0 tolerance? He really isn't your typical squaddie, in my opinion he isn't cut out for the uniform. Fit as anything, but just not soldier material.

As for the rest, i'm pretty sure majority of blokes and more importantly squaddies from private soldiers to SNCO's and civilians have been in an altercation or situation that was purely a result of alcohol and DOES NOT reflect they're personality sober. What you said really has no backbone.

It just so happens that i told him to visit the padre, padre had a word with the badge, then ANOTHER agai was given. Did i see or hear of any discipline issues, no. He stood infront of the RSM, signed his agai's and left. Drunk and disorderly is a very minor charge, did he resist arrest, assault the officers?

No.

If that was the case, yes i would agree with most of you. I'm purely sticking up for a friend, which is part of CDRILS. Even the first one "Courage" is needed to even post on this site with the barrage of silly comments made.
 
#18
I cannot help you and usually stay out of threads where my input cannot help, but...



ARRSE is massively secure and borders on the paranoid when it comes to Persec. For obvious and very good reasons. Why is your 'mate' getting you to come here asking advice when he could register as (made up name) and ask himself?


[/COLOR]
You think you know what he is thinking? Nobody knows what anybody is thinking standing at the bus stop, much less in a stress situation. See my comment above.

Not a dig. Just a suggestion. Hope it helps. And, out.
He's not familiar with forum's of any sort, and not a big fan of internet forums. That's why im posting on his behalf because im worried, he doesn't even know I've posted this. It is getting to him, he's very down. Like i said this is stuff a lot of people will contemplate suicide, i know the feeling aswell.

But I guess a few lads above have answered my question anyhow, thanks anyway Duke.
 
#19
Hi all, not sure if I've posted within the right section but this is on behalf of my mate.
BristolLad: Can't help noticing that your background is as a failed RM recruit:

(Quote your post 28 Oct 11: I am an ex nod (RM recruit) so i have been Lympstone and had a little taster at what the infantry side offers, it was a great crack and i do wish i stuck with it who knows i could of been a bootie right now)

and then you DAOR'd yourself from Army Infantry basic training:

(Quote your post 6 Jun 12: i DAOR'd two months ago on week 11 (april 5th) from ITC)


so you aren't exactly the best person to be offering sensible career advice to your mate. I suggest he takes the advice of the other posters and looks towards the official helplines/complaint channels if he feels he is being bullied. I have seen JSP763 in action, and believe me his CSM/RSM does not want to get on the wrong side of it. That said if your mate is just a whinging git (and if he hangs around with someone like you that has failed two sets of recruit training he may well be) then he would do well just to man up.
 
#20
BristolLad: Can't help noticing that your background is as a failed RM recruit:

(Quote your post 28 Oct 11: I am an ex nod (RM recruit) so i have been Lympstone and had a little taster at what the infantry side offers, it was a great crack and i do wish i stuck with it who knows i could of been a bootie right now)

and then you DAOR'd yourself from Army Infantry basic training:

(Quote your post 6 Jun 12: i DAOR'd two months ago on week 11 (april 5th) from ITC)


so you aren't exactly the best person to be offering sensible career advice to your mate. I suggest he takes the advice of the other posters and looks towards the official helplines/complaint channels if he feels he is being bullied. I have seen JSP763 in action, and believe me his CSM/RSM does not want to get on the wrong side of it. That said if your mate is just a whinging git (and if he hangs around with someone like you that has failed two sets of recruit training he may well be) then he would do well just to man up.
And that has anything to do with this? That's the most irrelevant set of quote's you could of brought up. If i was advising him i wouldn't be on ARRSE asking for advise, i'm NOT the one to advise him, hence why this threads started. Lympstone was MD, as for DAOR that was because of my own personal set of problems back home. IF the army isn't for someone, is it wise to DAOR, or stay and be the fool not enjoying it. I have no reasons to explain why, and to be honest, DAOR isn't failing, that your own right of discharge.

Anyway, you half answered the question and made me laugh so thank you for that too.

I have my answers now and thanks for all who's helped. I'm going to pass this on now.
 

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