Getting Old(er); The advantages

#1
There's a lot of moaning going on in various Forums/threads about the disadvantages of the increasing number of candles on our Birthday cakes.

Let's be positive, and look on the positive side of things.

Here's a starter list.
  • Being able to perm my ear-hair
  • Not wasting time cleaning the bathroom mirror after a shower, because I can't stand looking at my reflection anymore.
  • Getting free rides on Public Transport (In NZ anyway)
  • Being able to tell young scrotes to get out of their seat on Public Transport
  • Not feeling guilty about having an ice-cream during the day, on my own.
  • Farting in public, and not only feeling no shame (being doing it for years anyway) but everyone else just ignores it (and that's saying something, 'cause some of them are worse than the stench from a thunderbox after a week on compo)
  • Being able to call cops "Son"
  • Being able to call young ladies (in their 20's) "Dear"
  • Having 40 minute snoozes at any time I want to.
  • Getting gasps of admiration from the younger generation when I whip out a smarphone, and actually know how to use it.
 
#2
  • Getting gasps of admiration from the younger generation when I whip out a smarphone, and actually know how to use it.
But not spell it.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
#3
I can blame all fùcken programmers cos they're shit.

Now that I'm an ex programmer.
 
#4
I spend much less time masturbating.

Which makes public transport far less awkward.
 
Last edited:
#5
50 something now , cheaper than ever car insurance , 30+ ladies find me more interesting and attractive than ever , not looking forward to sixties though.
 
#6
When you are 16, your letching range runs from 16 (for legal reasons etc) to maybe somewhere in the mid-20s. (perhaps a bit older for a particularly yummy friend's mum..)

As you age, the upper limit goes up correspondingly but the lower limit doesn't move, hugely increasing the range of letching opportunities.

The ability to do anything about it diminishes though. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away etc
 
#7
I no longer have to dry the hair on my head.

Instead I have to use the hair dryer on the hair on my arrse.

I no longer care if a woman is good looking or not as I can't see them any more.
 
#8
50 something now , cheaper than ever car insurance , 30+ ladies find me more interesting and attractive than ever , not looking forward to sixties though.
Enjoy your 50s. If you can pull off the George cloony thing, it will be good times I'd imagine.
 
#9
You can look at all the young, thrusting go-getters at work, safe in the knowledge that it's all a load of bollocks anyway and you'll be out of it soon enough. Roll on retirement (only a couple of years or so tops for me :)).
 
#10
Enjoy your 50s. If you can pull off the George cloony thing, it will be good times I'd imagine.
Fortunately I still have plenty of hair at the front and I`m not a fat cnut , I guess we are a lot more steady and the ladies like that , I was fcuking lairy in younger years , looking back maybe ADHD .
 

_Chimurenga_

LE
Gallery Guru
#11
When you are 16, your letching range runs from 16 (for legal reasons etc) to maybe somewhere in the mid-20s. (perhaps a bit older for a particularly yummy friend's mum..)

As you age, the upper limit goes up correspondingly but the lower limit doesn't move, hugely increasing the range of letching opportunities.

The ability to do anything about it diminishes though. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away etc
As it says in the Bible -

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
 
#12
30+ ladies find me more interesting and attractive than ever ,
Sometimes loss of one key sense is compensated for by other, more intuitive but less reliable senses, such as hearing and smell.
 
#13
You can look at all the young, thrusting go-getters at work, safe in the knowledge that it's all a load of bollocks anyway and you'll be out of it soon enough. Roll on retirement (only a couple of years or so tops for me :)).
I had that very fine feeling in spade loads on Friday afternoon, particularly so as I spent some of it in the company of recently joined and tiresome young gobshite who thinks he is going to make a difference and is all me me me.

Most difficult bit is trying not to laugh
 
Last edited:
#14
I spend much less time masturbating.

Which make public transport far less awkward.
I sometimes forget why I started...... so finishing is a tad difficult when your libido has dissappeared. Mind you it is one way of exercising one's wrist muscles.....
:rolleyes:
 
#15
best things about getting older?

I appreciate alcohol much more these days. I can't drink as much as I used to and in any case hangovers kill me now whereas I used to be able to work through them. long nights out on the piss aren't for me any more.

However, I can sit down with a couple of decent bottles of beer or cider, or perhaps a large glass or two of kir or port, or maybe chuck some vodka in a tall glass of orange and mango juice and thoroughly enjoy them for the taste and gentle buzz that ensues.

...and grandchildren of course... :)
 
Last edited:

R0B

Old-Salt
#16
I can blame all fùcken programmers cos they're shit.

Now that I'm an ex programmer.
But all of your uninitialised pointers and buffer overflows are still out there.

Getting older is rejecting code from the baby programmers because they didn't write any comments and having a thrombo everytime one of them says "it works on my computer" when you discover a massive bug.
 
Last edited:
#17
Every year my doctor gives me an extra pill to take. Fortunately getting older means the prescriptions are free other wise it'd cost me over £100 for 'em all if I had to get them all in one go.

Getting old is a bitch but I'm not keen on the alternative.
 
#18
well, if you've been around longer you don't have to flog your guts out prooving anything to anyone, car insurance is cheaper and by now if you've organised your life right, you can downsize and live for little. Still do a weekly five mile run, more of a plod now, but keeps the weight right down, and I don't creek when I have to bend to do jobs around the place, five years to go and I can jack it in and retire. Now where's that next restoration project?
 
#19
Listening to my younger colleagues fretting about getting on the housing ladder when I know my mortgage is paid off.

Knowing that in a few years my Army pension and the other one I'm on now will combine to mean I will be able to say Fûck It and walk away to a reasonable standard of living or avail myself of my employers willingness to allow reduced hours working.

Not having to worry what other people think of me - not that I've ever really cared about that.

I agree with @Rodney2q about the alcohol thing. Once the pressure of full time work recedes I plan on expanding my knowledge of good wine.

The warm feeling that the pension thing gives when I know that in the event of my demise, the missus will be sufficiently well off that moving etc will not be necessary and there will be a lump of capital to pass on to the kids.
 
#20
Every year my doctor gives me an extra pill to take. Fortunately getting older means the prescriptions are free other wise it'd cost me over £100 for 'em all if I had to get them all in one go.

Getting old is a bitch but I'm not keen on the alternative.
There's a thread in its own right there... who consumes the most prescribed drugs on a just to stay alive / awake / asleep / happy / worry free etc.

That'd flush out the hypochondriacs and leadswingers.
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top