Getting Married

#1
Guys

Having been a dedicated warrior monk for the best part of 15 years, I've finally found someone prepared to put up with me on a permanent basis. To that end, I'm getting married next year and just wanted some advice from anyone who's been through the process while serving. Are there any particular pitfalls or poo-traps to be aware of/avoid? Things that immediately spring to mind are:

1. Asking permission. (Is it a myth? Not that I have a problem with it.)
2. Applying for a quarter. (Particularly warning times etc.)
3. Bank account changes on JPA if going to a joint bank account.
4. Any other JPA action reqd (other than NOK/EC which I think I can manage).

Thanks in advance for your advice on any of these and, no doubt, the copious number of other issues which I haven't yet considered!

I_T

PS: I've just read the thread about wearing uniform at weddings and have no desire to inflate my ranks or that of any military guests!
 
#2
I'm afraid I can only assist with point 1.

It's polite to request permission from CO, but not essential. There's no way he's going to say no.

This is a relic of our days of Empire when regiments regularly served overseas in colonies for long periods. If a soldier were to marry then, his wife and subsequent issue would become a potential burden upon the regt, therefore the C of C could have a very real say in the matter.

Also, it prevents young fellas marrying dodgy passport seeking hookers in Hong Kong; just like Midnight in Soldier Soldier. :)

Edited for bratty fingered typing.
 
#3
I have no idea about the military side of things, but on the subject of joint accounts I WOULD say, think about keeping yours and your wife's accounts separate. Set a household account up that you both pay money into for bills and household expenses. That way should anything happen to either of you (god forbid) and your account gets frozen, both of you have access to money to live on.

It also means the missus can't tell if you've been a bit stingy on her birthday present :D
 
#4
I was recently asked by someone about applying for permission and suggested that it was better to send a letter INFORMING the CO of your intention. Depends on the CO and the unit. Many years ago my CO responded to any marriage letter by having the person in for a coffee (my one interview "with" coffee).

Ask your Adjutant/RSM/CSM/PL Comd depending on where you are in the food chain.

Housing-talk to your local Housing Information Cell (HIC). THEY (and noone else) are the experts.

Money and JPA-talk to your admin office, but I'd suggest gettting the new account up and running for a few months before changing JPA pay details
 
#5
Back_at_RD said:
It's polite to request permission from CO, but not essential. There's no way he's going to say no.
Not so much polite as more a bit of 'Yessum! Massa!'

The Army's way of reminding you that you have no private or family life.

Oh, I forgot to add, if your boss expects it just do it, costs nothing after all.
 
#6
I'll only address the area's I have exprienced 'some' complications here and there:

Have to agree with whats already been stated, basically using common sense & discetion the latter with applying for your SFA mainly as some MQ depts are better managed than others, mind you if you can get a decent rapour process going with your SFA H/O this makes the process much easier,

Ref JPA IMO I would make a face to face appt with the RAO support staff to ensure this process runs smoothly,
 
#8
scarletto said:
Back_at_RD said:
I'm afraid I can only assist with point 1.

It's polite to request permission from CO, but not essential. There's no way he's going to say no. He can, but you can still get married. Seen that happen
I can't remember quite asking for permission, but I was interviewed and had to wait for the security vetting of my ex - she 's from what was West Germany and it was in the early 80's.

On reflection, I wished he had refused permission to marry her! So the best advice is; don't do it!!!!!!!!!! :D
 
#9
Back_at_RD said:
Also, it prevents young fellas marrying dodgy passport seeking hookers in Hong Kong; just like Midnight in Soldier Soldier. :)
If your wife-to-be isn't British (possibly from the EU) you still need to ask permission, If she is British you just need to inform the army of your intentions.
 
#10
I remember my CO suggesting that I asked his permission, a sort of a sideways, 'still waiting for your letter'. Now he was a bl00dy good bloke and was said light heartedly but sent me off in a flying rage.

I just as lightly told him to poke it, but as he was a good lad and looked quite hurt, he received the letter but it was only to 'inform' him.
 
#11
1. Asking permission. (Is it a myth? Not that I have a problem with it.)
I asked...it got me a week off work guaranteed, a mate who didn't ask didn't get time off...coincidence perhaps but I didn't want to risk it!
2. Applying for a quarter. (Particularly warning times etc.)
We were told we could apply up to 6 months before, the sooner the better, but more than 6 months in advance they wouldn't bother looking at it. Got the address two months before we married.
3. Bank account changes on JPA if going to a joint bank account.
We have a joint account, but kept my wages being paid into my account, just transfer money every month using online banking, I didn't want to run the risk of JPA deciding not to pay me after I'd changed the details.
4. Any other JPA action reqd (other than NOK/EC which I think I can manage).
Useless answer from me - I can't remember.
 
#13
Back_at_RD said:
It's polite to request permission from CO, but not essential. There's no way he's going to say no.
Unless she is a certain ex Signaller single mum from the West Indies :D
 
#14
Make Sure That You Ensure That Childcare Is Taken Care Of if you have kids, in order for you not turn up for Parade or go on operartional duties....


Magic
 
#15
There is a security form that you have to complete informing the world of your change of circumstances. Your unit/sub-unit sy blerk should be able to help you. I don;t remember the number, but it is yellow (how helpful amd I?)
 
#16
barbs said:
There is a security form that you have to complete informing the world of your change of circumstances. Your unit/sub-unit sy blerk should be able to help you. I don;t remember the number, but it is yellow (how helpful amd I?)
MODF1109??
 
#17
Make sure you get a sword and go one rank up ;)
 
#18
Not strictly a military point, but you will both need to make new wills (marriage invalidates previous ones, this adding all sorts of legal nausea at exactly the wrong time for the survivor).
 
#20
stacker1 said:
Back_at_RD said:
Also, it prevents young fellas marrying dodgy passport seeking hookers in Hong Kong; just like Midnight in Soldier Soldier. :)
If your wife-to-be isn't British (possibly from the EU) you still need to ask permission, If she is British you just need to inform the army of your intentions.
No you dont. my missus is a foreigner and I didnt need to ask permission, niether did a mate of mine and his missus is Russian!!
 
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