Getting married in the morning

#2
Right listen, I'm sat here getting smashed and Im wondering how I should handle tomorrow night.
I'm getting married for the second time and I want to get it right this time.
So to start of on the right foot. What should I do to her once were back at the hotel on our own?
I've not kicked in the back doors yet, is that a good place to start?
This just displays a lack of imagination. On your own, what about the bridesmaids?
 
#4
Why are you getting smashed on your own talking to complete strangers on your last night of freedom??
 
#8
Why are you getting smashed on your own talking to complete strangers on your last night of freedom??
We may be strange, but not all of us are complete. Well, apart from Big_Rob..he's a complete cunt.
 
#9
Doubtless you screwed up last time. It might be safer to let your Best Man deal with it this time.
 
#10
Right listen, I'm sat here getting smashed and Im wondering how I should handle tomorrow night.
I'm getting married for the second time and I want to get it right this time.
So to start of on the right foot. What should I do to her once were back at the hotel on our own?
I've not kicked in the back doors yet, is that a good place to start?
So you're sat there on your own out your trolley, and your best idea is to sign up to an army forum and try and get some dirty chat out of the ARRSE friday-nighters.

That's quite sad really. Just have a wank and go to bed.
 
#11
So you're sat there on your own out your trolley, and your best idea is to sign up to an army forum and try and get some dirty chat out of the ARRSE friday-nighters.

That's quite sad really. Just have a wank and go to bed.
Is that the advice for tonight or tomorrow night?
 
#14
So you're sat there on your own out your trolley, and your best idea is to sign up to an army forum and try and get some dirty chat out of the ARRSE friday-nighters.

That's quite sad really. Just have a wank and go to bed.
Is that the advice for tonight or tomorrow night?
Had intended for tonight, but tomorrow night that may be an option. If she's going to whinge, give her something to whinge about.
 
#15
feck me TWICE, give your heid a shake fella.
 
#17
Did you know they've found a food-stuff that puts women off sex for life?

It's called 'wedding cake'.
 
#18
When I got married, my wife said " I do"

What she meant was " I used to, but not any-fuckiing more...."
 
#19
Don't do it...ohhhhh too late he probably has.

Best of luck and just remember if it doesn't work this time...there's always a third and fourth time lucky.
 
#20
Remember the three magic words that a church brings to a womens mind! 1) aisle 2)altar 3)hymn which magically become
I'LL ALTER HIM !!! ;-)
 
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