Getting Inked in - Cool or Crap

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by error_unknown, May 5, 2003.

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  1. During my illustrious career I saw many inked in geezers. Some tats looked quite smart and I would occasionally think "yeah, that looks alright, I wouldn't mind getting one like that". However, before I got down the Aldershot ink parlour, i'd always see another that would put me off.

    What is the cr*ppest tat you've seen ?????

    I always used to chuckle at those dagger through the heart ones that the old sweats used to have on their forearm. They looked like they'd been done with a dark blue crayon.

    The worst one was one of the lads from Aldershot, who hailed from across the water. He decided to get his wings done at the top of his arm, but with a red hand of ulster where the parachute should be. It was f*cking horrible. The tattooist was either new or p*ssed. It just looked like someone had coughed up a dockyard oyster on to his arm. Best of all, written underneath this mess was "Parchute Signals" ;D
  2. Is Bill Skuse (or one of his descendants) still going in Aldershot? Back in the early 70's he wouldn't tattoo a woman unless she had her husband's permission!
    A friend of mine had a winged horse on her ankle done by a scratcher, it looked more like "My Little Pony".
  3. had some nice work done on my p1ss tank [england done in medieval style]in my home town shrewsbury also had a scratcher fcku up my arm in same town-a mate of mine had the drunk devil on  a pile of beer barrels but he gobbed off to tat guy so he had 100% sh1t face on his back obviously the guy missed off the d .also had some good ink done by paul o conner ? in weymouth
  4. Crap, to answer your question.

    I used to live opposite a tattoo shop in Aldershot! :)
  5. tats are essential-so when a bird has my huge sweaty p1ss tank slapping up and down on her she has something to read so she doesnt get bored with the 10 seconds that my arse is going like a fiddlers elbow ;D
  6. 10 seconds? As long as that?? ;)
  7. Best tat artist; 'Studs' Molloy from  Manchester. He ran a thriving block room business when we went through basic togther, then decided he was a better tattoo artist than a soldier so prompty passed out and then got out.  

    Worst tat:  A geezer with the REME cap badge on his right forearm - the horse looked like a donkey with a hard on.  

    Strangest tats: An elderly Maori bloke with not a tooth in his head who had obviously been too long inside. He had FCUK JUSTICE across his forehead in mirrror image and on his feet the left one said "I'm tired Mike" and the right said "So am I" - he was a nice bloke called Percy (I kid you not)  
  8. I remember seeing a lad in Lippstadt many moons ago with a big eagle tattooed on his chest.  However, he had been on exercise with the septics when one took exception to him and stabbed in the chest.  This resulted in open heart surgery.

    The bastard surgeon must have had a sense of humour because when he came to sew him back up they didn't line the tattoo back up - one wonky eagle! ;D ;D ;D
  9. that includes getting undressed :-[
  10. Thought you (or your partner) would have done that in advance! ;)
  11. Partner?

    Fadgaf couldn't pull in a room full of brass with a $1000 bill gripped between his arse cheeks.

    He is a pro solo lover
  12. Came across a Gym Queen once who had this most awful British Bull dog tat.  I think he used it in his PT sessions by saying to the gents, whilst pointing at it,  "One more for the bulldog". Now that he's left the Army, I hear that he now uses it to woo the Ladies by saying "Lick the Bulldog". It is apparently all faded and the dog looks like a ravaged old mongrel fit for Battersea who is lagging down its own leg......classy or what?!?!?
  13. when the funeral home closes for the night they usually dress them :p
  14. fadgaf doesnt need money he has a gun and the cover of darkness 8)