Doh-nut, as requested, following is an account of Genital ironman antics, beyond the dreams of even the weirdist Japanese game show.
Whilst serving, I went on the lash with my brother who at the time was in the RE (forty pints a night and all that). Anyway, he regaled me with stories of knob power lifting. So I thought "what a great idea".
A year or so later I was on Grapple and we had just got in a shipment of beer. Needless to say things got messy pretty tout suite and by about 22:00 hrs we were all bollocky bufters, all of a sudden my brothers voice appeared in my head just like obi wan kenobi "lift weights with you knob"
Thus the power lifting competition was born.
Ten dudes in the raw in a 12x12, two canvas chairs with a jerry can of water in between. The lifter stands nakid, one foot on each chair and squats so that the butt cheeks are on the chair arms. Once in the squat position para-cord is attached to the jerry can and also to the lifters pen-one-five via a slip knot. The cord must be tight in the squat position. A good lift is when the competitor stands up into the straight leg position and both knees are locked (a seperate judge is required for each knee).
The lifting entry level was a half full jerry can (10 kgs), and went up in incraments of 1kg at a time.
At the end it was down to 3 of us, and I went for the full can 20kg, with my old chap at full extention I got a good lift, but couldn't manage anymore due to heavy bruising and laserations.
The next lifter (soldier X) got bad disco leg and was screaming like a banshee, when suddenly the orderly officer came in to see what the noise was.
Imagine his horror when he opened the tent flap to see 10 bufters heavily tatooed solidiers, drinking heavily, one of whom is standing on two folding chairs with a jerrycan hanging off his schlong, roaring like a wounded wildebeast, and a drunken nakid squaddie scrutinizing each knee for a "no lift" decision. Needless to say the officer scarpered sharpish.
The final lift was to take my title and I was usurped by a devasting lift of a full jerry can, with two SA80s with SUSATs. A record that still stands to this day. Recently I tried a lift with a group of drunken ex squad's but couldn't do more than a Maxi-sized George Foreman Grill with a Panasonic vacum cleaner attached.
The horror of it all