Getting help for my Stroke disabled Mother - RBL or others?

#1
Over three years ago my mother had a disabling Stroke, but has left her paralysed on her left side. She is housebound - and my ex RN father is her carer. I do try to help out if and when I can.

Mum's main problem is not being able to get enough Physiotherapy to enable her to progress enough to stand largely unaided, amd walk a little bit with her Quad Stick without a Physio being present, and to go somewhere in a car (she has a wheelchair to take with her). My Reserve Chain Of Command suggested trying the Royal British Legion. It took a long time to persuade my father to ring them.

He phoned them - and was promptly told RBL do not provide Physiotherapy - as I mentioned here.

I thought they would send out a case worker to make an assessment?

What to do? Is it better to write to the local branch?
 
#3
I think we need to make a better application to the RBL - probably in writing. If you want a job done properly.....

I did tell the old man not to simply ask about getting a Physio. Did he listen?

They (folks) do need a visit from a case worker.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#4
As mentioned above mate, SSAFA should be all over this like a rash...your Dad's ex serving and their motto is ' A single day of Service - there for life'


Contact us


Your local SSAFA branch
Navigation
There is also Seafarers UK ( formerly King George's Fund for Sailors) = Seafarers UK

Contact us
For general enquiries, please contact:
seafarers@seafarers.uk
Tel: 020 7932 0000


Either of these should be only to pleased to hear from you.

Pick up the phone, share the load.
 
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#5
The folks have had a little bit of help from SSAFA, but this is something altogether different.

In any case I thought RBL were able to help with things like grants - which could help pay for private Physiotherapy.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#6
Good to know SSAFA have already got your old man on the list.

( Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: Luke 11:9 )
 
#7
RNBT is the place you need to go.
 
#8
I know that the question was about charity help, but what has the local authority said?

She is entitled to a care assessment, which is a written document. Have a read of this

The Care Needs Assessment Explained | Age UK

I found out the hard way with a very poorly aged aunt. My daughter and I spent months going around in circlrs, but once we had them by the short and curlies with the formal assessment in our hands all sorts of doors opened.
 
#9
I know that the question was about charity help, but what has the local authority said?

She is entitled to a care assessment, which is a written document. Have a read of this

The Care Needs Assessment Explained | Age UK

I found out the hard way with a very poorly aged aunt. My daughter and I spent months going around in circlrs, but once we had them by the short and curlies with the formal assessment in our hands all sorts of doors opened.
Well she was getting care, but the company pulled out with a few days warning, citing very dubious reasons.

This thread is because the old man phoned the RBL hotline and they said no when asked could they help with getting extra Physiotherapy - NHS provision is very thin on the ground

I think we need to write to the Devon branch of RBL, contact SSAFA again, contact RNBT......
 
#10
You may find that contrary to your inclination, you should make a major pain of yourself. Write, phone, harangue and be a severe nuisance to everyone who could possibly be responsible according to their remit, and their boss. The 'Copy to:' list should be on every email and letter, and when they start talking to each other to pass the buck/actually find out what they and/or others should be doing, you should get a result.

Being polite all the time, of course, but persistent, like ebola. Nobody's going to thank you for stopping.

Edit: When a 'boss' tries to shake you off, write to his boss, and/or an MP/newspaper, telling them first that you are doing so. Some organisations are reputationally sensitive, and don't like it up 'em, and many a boss is promotionally sensitive. The possibility of a social media campaign gives many an accountable figure explosive diarrhoea, too. All of which says that email, letters and social media posts cost nothing but a bit of time. It just takes persistence and will. All of the above can be applied to any situation where officialdom presents an passive, indifferent or intractable barrier to the *right* thing taking place.
 
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#11
You may find that contrary to your inclination, you should make a major pain of yourself. Write, phone, harangue and be a severe nuisance to everyone who could possibly be responsible according to their remit, and their boss. The 'Copy to:' list should be on every email and letter, and when they start talking to each other to pass the buck/actually find out what they and/or others should be doing, you should get a result.

Being polite all the time, of course, but persistent, like ebola. Nobody's going to thank you for stopping.

Edit: When a 'boss' tries to shake you off, write to his boss, and/or an MP/newspaper, telling them first that you are doing so. Some organisations are reputationally sensitive, and don't like it up 'em, and many a boss is promotionally sensitive. The possibility of a social media campaign gives many an accountable figure explosive diarrhoea, too. All of which says that email, letters and social media posts cost nothing but a bit of time. It just takes persistence and will. All of the above can be applied to any situation where officialdom presents an passive, indifferent or intractable barrier to the *right* thing taking place.
I could not agree more. Once we had a copy of the Care Assessment in our hand we parked ourselves in every in-tray we could. mind you, it became a pretty exhausting process because of the many many different players in both the national and local areas, in both social services and NHS and every one of them tried to persuade us that it was someone else's problem.

We just bashed and bashed and bashed away, and it took two of us to hold their feet to the fire. Bottom line is that you get the care assessment signed off by the social services branch and that is supposed to then be taken up by the NHS or (and here is the important bit) the social care budget has to buy the service in. We just kept reminding them of their own process and procedures and threatened everything from local media to the Local Authority Ombudsman.

Once they accept their responsibility then the next step is to get a Financial Assessment done - at that point the options for funding can be nailed down. Again, once you have that in your hand then things become much clearer.

My overriding advice is that you should not, at any time, blink. If those driving the many many desks get even a hint that you might be trying to solve this yourself, or solve it via a charity, then they will let you get on with it.

No one, in the 21st century, should be in the position that your folks are in without help, and official help at that. It will not be Rolls Royce, but it is there and it is funded. the trouble is that the system is byzantine and grossly inefficient, a situation compounded by mix of representatives that range from brilliant to utterly useless. This is made even more complex by differing authorities having differing processes, But it is all on line, just make sure that they follow their own process to the letter.

The other lesson we learned was always to take a full name and email address, and every conversation was followed up with a confirmatory email. It was amazing how simply asking someone at the other end of the phone for their full name resulted in a reduction in bullshit.

I wish you well, it is no fun but trust me when I say that it will be worth the effort.
 
#12
This!

I know that the question was about charity help, but what has the local authority said?

She is entitled to a care assessment, which is a written document. Have a read of this

The Care Needs Assessment Explained | Age UK

I found out the hard way with a very poorly aged aunt. My daughter and I spent months going around in circlrs, but once we had them by the short and curlies with the formal assessment in our hands all sorts of doors opened.
And This!!

I could not agree more. Once we had a copy of the Care Assessment in our hand we parked ourselves in every in-tray we could. mind you, it became a pretty exhausting process because of the many many different players in both the national and local areas, in both social services and NHS and every one of them tried to persuade us that it was someone else's problem.

We just bashed and bashed and bashed away, and it took two of us to hold their feet to the fire. Bottom line is that you get the care assessment signed off by the social services branch and that is supposed to then be taken up by the NHS or (and here is the important bit) the social care budget has to buy the service in. We just kept reminding them of their own process and procedures and threatened everything from local media to the Local Authority Ombudsman.

Once they accept their responsibility then the next step is to get a Financial Assessment done - at that point the options for funding can be nailed down. Again, once you have that in your hand then things become much clearer.

My overriding advice is that you should not, at any time, blink. If those driving the many many desks get even a hint that you might be trying to solve this yourself, or solve it via a charity, then they will let you get on with it.

No one, in the 21st century, should be in the position that your folks are in without help, and official help at that. It will not be Rolls Royce, but it is there and it is funded. the trouble is that the system is byzantine and grossly inefficient, a situation compounded by mix of representatives that range from brilliant to utterly useless. This is made even more complex by differing authorities having differing processes, But it is all on line, just make sure that they follow their own process to the letter.

The other lesson we learned was always to take a full name and email address, and every conversation was followed up with a confirmatory email. It was amazing how simply asking someone at the other end of the phone for their full name resulted in a reduction in bullshit.

I wish you well, it is no fun but trust me when I say that it will be worth the effort.
My last proper job was in a Social Services Department where I was a manager in the Directorate.

By getting formal assessments written by healthcare professionals, you are obtaining recognised expert opinion concerning your Mothers healthcare needs. That's something that can't be argued against when you approach healthcare providers for the things that your Mother needs.

Trawl around local advice centres such as Age Concern and any local disability organisations to get a local opinion of how it might be best to go forward in your manor as well.

Talk to Your local Social Services Department and see whether it would be useful if a Social Worker was involved to assist getting the services in place that your Mother needs.

Keep a file of all correspondence including emails and also take notes of phone conversations and any face to face meetings and keep them in the file as well.
 
#13
This!



And This!!



My last proper job was in a Social Services Department where I was a manager in the Directorate.

By getting formal assessments written by healthcare professionals, you are obtaining recognised expert opinion concerning your Mothers healthcare needs. That's something that can't be argued against when you approach healthcare providers for the things that your Mother needs.

Trawl around local advice centres such as Age Concern and any local disability organisations to get a local opinion of how it might be best to go forward in your manor as well.

Talk to Your local Social Services Department and see whether it would be useful if a Social Worker was involved to assist getting the services in place that your Mother needs.

Keep a file of all correspondence including emails and also take notes of phone conversations and any face to face meetings and keep them in the file as well.
We found that Cambridgeshire has a dedicated Elderly Care Team embedded in the Social Services department - it took us ages to get direct access (mostly because others did not seem to know of its existence) but once we did the assistance and advice was invaluable.

I think that the biggest challenge was the gulf that existed (exists?) between social care and health care, or, more specifically, social services and the NHS. Anything that required a bit of both seemed to fall in the gap.
 
#14
We found that Cambridgeshire has a dedicated Elderly Care Team embedded in the Social Services department - it took us ages to get direct access (mostly because others did not seem to know of its existence) but once we did the assistance and advice was invaluable.

I think that the biggest challenge was the gulf that existed (exists?) between social care and health care, or, more specifically, social services and the NHS. Anything that required a bit of both seemed to fall in the gap.
Talking to local disability and elderly organisations will often give some insight into the best way forward. There’s a lot of beaurocracy in different places to overcome once you have got in place what you need, you then need to make sure it happens as agreed.
 
#15
Talking to local disability and elderly organisations will often give some insight into the best way forward. There’s a lot of beaurocracy in different places to overcome once you have got in place what you need, you then need to make sure it happens as agreed.
"Just because it is written down does not mean that it will happen"
 
#16
Frustratingly, my father has not yet written to the local branch of RBL or anyone else - although in fairness he has been trying to deal with the basics - care. Moving forward Mum needs help - more physiotherapy. Get her up and practising walking, reduce the strain of caring, give her some Independence, get her out of the house for the first time in three years.....

I will write the letter to RBL myself, but really it needs to be by Dad or on his behalf, as Reservists do not count.

Is the RBL website up to date? They used to have an office in Exeter City Centre (I had reason to go to the same building) but I think the building ownership has moved, and now the office is in Wyvern Barracks....

How do I find the title and name of the person I need to contact?

With everything going on, and my own issues, I am just overwhelmed with it all.
 
#17
Does any one have the contact details (including both name and address) for the Exeter office of the RBL? I can get the address from the website - but do not what who the person is I need to contact. A simple 'Sir/Madam' seems very impersonal.
 
#19
Send it to the Area Manager at the Primary Office I think. Thank you - somehow I could not find the names. A job for tomorrow morning I think.
 
#20
The letter has been written and sent - wait and see now. I was told that RBL would send out a case worker to make an assessment and that they would take it from there.

Hopefully this is something to look forward in the New Year - as this has been a horrible one.
 

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