A randy old git in the Retirement Home took a fancy to a lady who is also staying at the home. One day he cheekily tells her that he wants to make love to her. To his surprise and delight, she agrees and suggests that when everyone else is gone for a day trip, they will stay behind and get to it. He goes to her room on the day and asks her how she likes it. She says, "I used to like it when a man went down on me." He says he would love to and goes for it. After about 30 seconds he comes back up, eyes running, and says, "I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid I just can't go on. It smells really awful down there." She says, "It must be my arthritis." He looks at her and says, "Surely you can't get arthritis down there? Even if you could, it wouldn't cause such a vile horrible smell." She says, "No, my arthritis is in my shoulder and I can't wipe my arse."