get one back to the thieving C*NTS.

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by AJ-W, Apr 12, 2010.

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  1. my parents garage was broken into over the easter holidays and once again last night, they are wanting to put up a security alarm into the garage but that just seems to scare the c*nts off, i know the law states that anything such as barbed wire needs to be attached 6ft above ground level on top of a fence but what about putting something such as carpet grip on the bottom of the door so wen they try to lift it they get a sharp surprise, any other ideas or info on my idea would be appreciated.

    AJ
     
  2. Wire the door into the mains.


    Job jobbed.
     
  3. 12 Bore blank alarm mines, trip wire across the front of the garage.

    Put a sign up in the garage to warn them (when it's too late)

    They'll S*** themselves.

    Might be worth advising the neighbours too :D

    Loud Bang booby trap!
     
  4. A mate of mine smears grease all over a lampost near his garden wall to stop cnuts climbing over.

    He had a CCTV camera set up for a while (to catch a completely different kind of cnut who shits on his house) and it was quite funny watching chavs get their precious trackies covered in foul grease.
     
  5. If it's on public property the little darlings are well within their "rights" to claim compo off your mate.

    Unfortunately, it's all about making your property less attractive / accessible than your neighbours. The scrotes will move on to easier pickings.

    Bit of a diversion, but bear with it:

    Public phonebox near me was where the local junkies called from to set up their deals. By product of this was that lots of petty theft and vandalism caused by these no-marks on the route to and from it.
    Asked the council, plod etc to set up some cctv to cover it - no-one interested.
    One day, somebody threw a tow-rope around the phone box and drove off with it dragging behind their Landrover. BT never bothered replacing it.
    Scrotes moved to a box a few streets over and the levels of crime in my road dropped perceptibly.
     
  6. Alarm mines are also available from ARRSE sponsors The Outdoorsman - look under pyrotechnics
    btw - if you do set up something like this, just remember that you have got them armed. I didn't and nearly cacked myself when they went off :D
     
  7. the spiked anti climb system any chance of hooking that up to a motor that would put them off :twisted:

    AJ-W
     
  8. Correct, you have a 'duty of care' to anyone on your property, any harm done to that person is the home owners responsibility.

    Great innit :D
     
  9. Great BIG FO dog works very well too.
     
  10. or they could always try and outrun one of these :twisted:
     

    Attached Files:

  11. Despite the deep joy damaging the little scrotes might bring the best solution is to make the garage a bit harder to get into so fitting a more secure garage door might be cheaper in the long run?

    Apparently the metal rolling overhead doors are the most secure if you fit a decent lock as well.
     
  12. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Did'nt some VW owner do that years ago? Wire the badge on his car up to a charged capacitor or something to catch the little sh1ts who were stealing the VW badges thanks to 'The Beasty Boys' popularity.

    Round my way we have a anti theft detterent...it's called the UDA! Two scrotes were ordered to leave the town last week for TWOC.One of them to leave NI by Friday!
     
  13. Big lump of sidated "pork chops" or other type of "meat" is usually the scums answer's to dogs, don't forget these elements of society regards dogs ie: Pitbulls etc as trophy's and treat them as such!

    Now a "combination" of Dog & a layer of cemented broken glass on top of a wall usually an idea (not forgetting the warning sign for the PC Brigade :roll: )

    The trouble is that in most cases the LA's are not interested unitl it's too late!
     
  14. Just about the only legal way to get back at the scrotes is with biological warfare.

    By which I mean............sharp plants! Go to the nearest garden centre, find the plants with the biggest, meanest, pointiest spikes you can possibly imagine and plant these around your threshold. We've got some climbing up our fence where it backs onto a public footpath, it even keeps the stray cats out :)