Now I'm not a big fan of drill or other standing still in the rain related activities but there has been the odd occasion which has made me chuckle. Granted the vast majority of these involve me laughing at some other fucker's misfortune. A few months ago I was stood on a regimental parade, bored stupid and attempting to make the time pass more swiftly by spotting likely candidates for a tarmac breakfast. Nothing much seemed to be happening this morning and I was preparing myself for a poor show when I heard a splattering sound from about fifteen feet to my front. My interest piqued I scanned the ranks to my front hoping someone was lashing their trews or was following through in a particularly unpleasant manner. It took me a while to locate him but I spotted a weak looking specimen who even from behind appeared to have a translucent head, he appeared to be trembling somewhat and as I looked at the ground in front of him I saw a pool of watery bile. There was about thirty minutes of this parade still to go and I would have put good money on him imminently faceplanting into the deck. Chuckling to myself I watched on as (fair play to the fella) he stood bolt upright with just his head slightly tilted forward as a steady stream of gastric fluid dripped onto the parade square. I could feel his pain as I struggled not to laugh my cock off and remain straight faced. For over half an hour he stood like that streaming, growing paler, beads of sweat forming on the back of his neck. The Scripture Reader came on and waffled about god in his lispy voice and offered a little light relief with his claim that "God loves oursouls" the subtle humour lost on this lad. Finally the officers and the badge disappeared and the coys began to march off. The CSM spotted the puke and marched over. CSM: Who threw up on the square? Cfn: Hmmmpf glmpf *raises hand feebly CSM: Get it out. At this the lad squatted down before getting onto all fours like a dog and opening his mouth wide, he wasn't sick at this point but the mouthful of puke looking very much like thick custard fell out onto the square. This fella had been stood there for a half hour with this tasty treat in his mouth not knowing what the fuck to do with it. I hadn't had this much entertainment on a CO's parade since the Caribbean lad toppled over into eight inches of snow and disappeared beneath it before being dragged off the square looking like he had been tarred and feathered.