Come on then, when you were a Pte/Sig/Gnr/Fus etc, what did you get locked up for? Why did you end up in front of the guardroom at 22:00 showing 'blow up doll removed from bed'? I got locked up every morning for two weeks, for losing an eyebrow. Then got banged in front of the guardroom showing 'eyebrow regrown'. Wasn't all bad, as I turned into the fittest bloke in BFG thanks to my daily workout.