Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Social_Handgrenade, Jan 8, 2007.

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  1. Come on then, when you were a Pte/Sig/Gnr/Fus etc, what did you get locked up for? Why did you end up in front of the guardroom at 22:00 showing 'blow up doll removed from bed'?

    I got locked up every morning for two weeks, for losing an eyebrow. :x Then got banged in front of the guardroom showing 'eyebrow regrown'. :roll: Wasn't all bad, as I turned into the fittest bloke in BFG thanks to my daily workout. :)
  2. I got 6 days restriction of privileges for killing kids and sucking off tramps.
  3. That's where you went wrong, should have been the other way round
  4. It should have been but i'm dyslexic!
  5. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    14 days nick for fighting - 3 days before passing off in Juniors - doh!
  6. Spanish_Dave

    Spanish_Dave LE Good Egg (charities)

    I had show c*ck at gd room on crew comd course for having a pee in the woods, didnt go to gd room and regretted it as ack adj was on

    I got fined £200 by the CO in 83 after being savagley attacked by some spics, CO didnt believe me, what an injustice :lol:

    2 extras for being late

    7 days ROPs for being late for 1st extra 8O
  7. Glancing sideways at the guardroom while marching to the
    cookhouse at scofftime.


    If I rememeber rightly it was the usual polishing the celing with
    the old hand held wax bumpers and holding two fire extinguishers
    over the COs best boots in a stress position!

    I was the first one to get a guardroom 'beasting' in the platoon
    and the NCO made them wait to see what state I would be in.
    I just saw the look of horror on their faces!

    I was always getting sent away for a beasting, usually over drill! :D

    See I told you it would be a crap story :D I'll get me coat!
  8. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Sounds like the Spanish Foreign Legion in the 70's.
    Did you have to back into the OC's office ?
  9. 30 days in the Corrective Custody Unit for calling my SgtMaj by his first name. Said tour extended for trying to escape.


    Those were the days.
  10. Fugly

    Fugly LE DirtyBAT

    A whole long weekend shovelling sh1t in the stables for bad phone technique.

    The BSM (Battery Sergeant Major for you non-dropshort orientated peeps) rang, asked for one of the seniors. I handed the reciever over, saying "Its for you. Its the Bed Side Mat".

    I didnt cup my hand over the reciever properly.

    I swear I could hear his head explode even though his office was 400 metres away!
  11. 7 days chokey for signing "Alfred E. Neumann" in my paybook instead of my real name.

    Pay Sergeants, ya gorra love 'em!

  12. 28 days in the slammer for.. "offering violence to my troop oc" It turned out ok tho as it was the 4afa nick in Kingsley barracks, Minden, run by medics, could have had a nice time in the RGJ nick down the road so I still thank my lucky stars.. Funny thing tho, my troop oc was posted out to 200 sigs as punishment and being a wimp, turned out he became my brothers troop oc, he didnt thank me for it LOL
  13. Seven days.Sleeping on Site-Guard, Hahndorf, Munster. L***ny L***ox was pissing himself when I got caught, Ha Fecking Ha, he got caught next time around. Lovely week with Jubes in the G/Room in Imphal Bks, Osnabruck. That´s when I learned to smoke.
    Then me and Andy H*y, got knobbed for some prank or another, we decided we are going down together or not at all......
    Say´s SSM, ( who actually liked us) after a good rifting,
    "Will you accept my punishment Tpr H*y?"
    " No, sir I will not!"
    "OK, CO´s orders!"
    "Tpr Cl*****d will you accept my punishment?"
    " Yes, certainly , sir!" "
    " 3 days RP´s"
    Tpr H*y gets stiffed a week in pokey, man was he pissed off at me. But we got bladdered when he got out.
    Great days!! :lol:
  14. I know of an incident at RMAS where an Officer was giving a lecture in a big lecture hall. Some of the Officer Cadets were quite tired. Some of them may have even dozed off...

    The lecturer mentioned to the Sergeant Major that he thought some Officer Cadets were sleeping.

    "RIGHT! Who's kippin'?" screamed forth the Sergeant Major. [Add appropriate Scots/Irish/Whatever accent for added authenticity....]

    At this point, OCdt Kippen made himself known to the Sergeant Major, whereupon he was marched away to the Academy Guardroom.

    One of them Urban Myths, I know - but I have it on good authority that the Officer Cadet in question made it to Major, at least - and if you're reading this, Sir, perhpas you might elaborate?

  15. You and me both Chimp. I did my 7 days there for firing the boat train with my partner in pointless crime the Brummie Horn. 4 AFA Gaffer wised up later on and sent anyone jailed down to the Argylles.