A bit of a tip if the kids are giving you jip this Chrimbo. Iâve been having massive drama, trying to get my 2 year old to eat. Sheâs ultra picky and she was copping a deaf âun to everything I tried. âYouâll stay there till bedtime, unless you eat it.â I was sure that would work, but she just gave me a look that said, âYeah, course I will, you knob,â and just sat there with her arms crossed. I was racking my brains the other day, thinking, âCâmon Convoy, there has to be an incident in your military experience that has prepared you for this moment.â And then it popped into my fat napper like a bolt of lightning. I called all three of them together yesterday morning, just before breakfast and made the speech. My two lads listened attentively as I outlined the problem. âRight, bambinos, listen in. Now, youâre a good bunch generally, but one of you is letting the side down.â(pause for a comedy hard man stare at the girl.) The way this family works is that, if one gets punished, everyone gets punished. Now, I donât want to do this but I canât see any other way of solving it. If the person whoâs not pulling their weight, doesnât get their sh-it sorted in the next day or two, then Christmas isnât coming to south Manchester.â I waited for the gravity of the situation to sink in for the two lads, as number three moved shiftily from foot to foot, looking like sheâd got caught with her hand in the till. âBefore you start crying and moaning lads, the solution to the problem is in your hands. Youâve got till tomorrow to sort it.â Even as I walked away, I could see the three year old chucking her the worlds filthiest look and the five year old nodding slowly as he formulated his plan. Now I donât know exactly what went on, or who said what, but at teatime tonight, things had changed. I put something in front of her that she normally turns her nose up at. What happened? She ate faster than Jo Brand. Sheâd have left Fern Britton for dead in a scoff-necking race. All the while, the lads were sat either side of her, smiling benignly. Any backsliding and sheâll be on the front gate for New Year.