Gert & Daisy

Old Gert is complaining to her equally ancient friend Daisy, that she no longer has sex with her husband Fred.

'He looks at me with my tits like John Wayne's saddle bags, my saggy bum and tired old minge,' she moans, 'and he's completely turned off.'

Daisy, her 88 year old friend, looks at her with scorn and says, 'What you want to do Gert, is get down to Anne Summers and buy some sexy underwear. No red-blooded man can resist the sight of a woman in pingers, stockings and red satin bra.'

The following day old Gert goes down to the sex shop and buys herself a peephole bra and a pair of crotchless knickers. That night she hides on top of the wardrobe, waits for old Fred to get into bed, then, clad only in her new shagging gear, leaps from the wardrobe with a mighty banshee scream of 'Superfanny!'

She lands on top of her shocked husband who, after several seconds, says, 'I think I'll have the soup, if that's alright Gert.'
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