German lay brown bread in his gaff for seven years

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Bugsy, May 10, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. You often hear about bods karking it and not being discovered for ages (usually due to the ripe smell), but this geezer was found after he'd been brown bread for seven years. It does make you wonder sometimes.

    As usual, here's a quick translation for those whose Kraut's a bit rusty:

    Essen: Man lay dead in apartment for seven years

    Essen: For seven years, a man lay dead in his apartment in the “Südviertel” area of Essen. The corpse was discovered around 07:45 pm on Wednesday evening. There had never been a missing persons report, the police said. “A serious crime can be excluded”, Detective Chief Superintendent Burkhard Klein declared.

    The unemployed man probably died a natural death, Klein said. The exact cause of death could no longer be established. There are also no indications of suicide, as the investigator further explained.

    The man, a native of Gladbach, was only 59 years old. According to the police, the presumed date of death is 30.11.2000. On that day he last received a letter from Social Services. The letter lay opened in the apartment. Police officers found cigarettes, small change in Deutschmarks and an unfolded TV guide lying next to the bed on a table.

    In the context of serving a compulsory execution order, the apartment was to be opened by a locksmith on Wednesday. The police were also present.

    The small apartment was on the top floor in the attic. The building contains businesses, offices and apartments. Several apartments and offices had been empty for some considerable time.

    10.05.2007 (WAZ)

    The pong must have been terrific, so why didn't anybody notice? More to the point; why didn't Social Services notice anything odd?


    Edited because of fückin' awful English! Sorry about that.
    Edited again, coz I was right the first time! Marbles slowly losing.
  2. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    Maybe his nachbar was cashing his Giro.......

    ..or more likely the efficient clipfile system in the local amt failed again....
  3. Poor bloke. Very sad indeed to die and lie there for so long without anyone noticing . . . . .

    Quite possibly no pong after such a time. Body may well have become mummified/dessicated.

    Is this the caring, watch-out-for-one-another, socially-engaged EU at work, eh?
  4. Somebody will quote the actual figures I am sure, but after a while, once all the fluids have gone their way, there will no longer be a pong.
  5. Wen wunderts? Die Politik hat lange keinen sozialen Sinn mehr gemacht und jemand der keine Probleme macht - der kriegt seine Sozialhilfe vom Amt bis ins Jenseits...
  6. Great thread title.

    I'd love to know what the foreign bods think...
  7. I thought it meant he used his house as a sh*tter for seven years :oops:
  8. I heard that the Germans had been trained by the Social Services from Tower Hamlets. :D
  9. I actually gave the title a bit of thought, Northern_Biff, then I thought: Fück it! This is a website primarily for the Bridsch Aamd Forsiz and they'll know exactly what I mean. :D :D :D

  10. Seriously....its a great title!
  11. Dead bodies stop stinking after a while

  12. In UK, if you went on holiday for a week, you'd get the baliffs breaking down your door for TV licence/ council tax/ bin tax/ breathing tax/ etc..
  13. Been a few cases of it happening over here as well. WOnder if they kept paying his brew money into his account?
  14. Title threw me but the article illuminated the phrases nicely...

    Caubeen is right... pretty sad to kick the bucket and no one gives a damn to notice your missing.
  15. Apparently what alerted the authorities was the 20 000 bottles of milk on the doorstep.