I have a slight issue here. I do not do issues or fuss, but if it happens the ARRSE has seldom let me down. So snap to and get good. Here's the deal. One of my good chums has a significant birthday soon and I have been tasked with arranging a Strippagram, which will make my chum wish she had never been born. And if one cannot embarrass ones chums on their Big Day, what is the point of getting out of bed in the morning? So, I have gone onto a couple of Strippagram websites and yes, they have ripped hunks wearing not very much. So I ring them (steady at the back) and say; "Hi. Can I book Desmond and can he turn up as a fireman and hoist my chum over his shoulder?" "Yeah, no problem. Give us the date, time and the name of the girl". "Bloke. My chum is a guy and she is gay". "Nah. We don't do that. We do Hen Nights and birthday parties for girls" "You ******* puffs. Let me get this straight? Your chosen career is to turn up, wiggle your arse then strip down to your smalls then drop them and do the windmill with your ******* dick. And you are telling me you are picky about who peers up your starfish? You sir, are a ******* puff". By this time I am talking to a dead phone. Anyone know of a gay friendly (not, you know, THAT friendly. There will be important people present) stripper in the Toon?