I was at my kids footy session on Saturday morning and got talking to a bloke who's quite good at Brazilian jiu-jitsu. He was extolling its virtues and it gave me some pause for thought. As my football career dwindles to nothingness, i've been thinking about what to do next, twice a week. I do plenty of CV work, but i've got to have a past-time other than wa-nking, that'll keep me fit and interested into my 40's. I was discussing it with Rigsby on the phone this morning. He's done a bit of that sort of stuff himself. Personally, I think it's all about him disguising the fact that he likes grappling with other men and getting a sneaky feel of their bums, but I can't be certain. Why isn't this thread in Health and Fitness? If Brazilian jiu-jitsu emerged as a product of it's environment, why aren't there any 'specific to theatre' British Martial Arts? What about 'Geordie-jitsu,' where all the moves are created as defences from spousal attack? I for one, would love to be an adherent of a discipline, that saw instructors utter phrases like, "Imagine your coming at me with a frying pan." or "The way to disable the arm and retrieve the rolling pin is as follows" I can see myself as a black-belt now, producing sharpened B and H boxes from my capped sleeve t-shirt and deploying them as North-Eastern death stars. A set of Nun-chukkas fashioned from two full cans of Eight Ace with a string holding them together, would look the boll-ocks. What about "Bezzer-jitsu" where the sessions are conducted after lengthy alcoholic beverage consumption? I'd love to learn the techniques to avoid a haymaker that was meant for a bloke four feet to my right. Can anyone think of other "jitsus" that would need specific moves? Or perhaps you can enhance Geordie-jitsu to a standard where there are enough moves for it to become a recognised form.