Gentlemans Smut

Discussion in 'Officers' started by goatbagthedruid, Apr 29, 2005.

?
  1. Animal - dogs with socks on front paws

    5.1%
  2. Normal

    21.2%
  3. Vegetable

    0.6%
  4. Fetish

    7.7%
  5. Girl on Girl

    34.0%
  6. Boy on Boy

    1.3%
  7. Anything

    15.4%
  8. Nothing as I am now blind

    14.7%

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  1. As we all know, the Officers' Mess is home to the world's most varied supply of pornography. Everyone has their favourite Bongo Mag and Movie.

    What is the best Porn story you have that you are willing to share with a wider audience??

    One of my mates had a w*nk*ng chair facing the TV with the w*nk*ing sock on the arm. He also had a fake vagina which was blue in colour and used to rest it on the sink. He used to trick girls to touch it thinking it was a bar of soap!
     
  2. Good effort.
     
  3. A certain colleague, now retired and living in the Hebrides had four MFO boxes of porn he shipped from posting to posting. One box for each season of the year. Boy was he glad when the internet was invented.
     
  4. That is awesome!
     
  5. When he left the mess on posting he slimmed down his porn collection to "Just the Classics" and bequeathed the Mess three bin liners full of vids and mags. He is remembered by all with great affection!!
    8) :p
     
  6. It has long been a bone of contention with me what some people term a porn “collection” to be. I always get my hopes up when I pop along with a bergan full of swapsies only to be confronted by 2 x battered Whitehouse under someone’s mattress.

    The best grumble vid ever to do the rounds in my mess was Horny Henry’s Interviews as I swear to God the first girl WAS Geri Halliwell.
     
  7. It has long been a bone of contention with me what some people term a porn “collection” to be. I always get my hopes up when I pop along with a bergan full of swapsies only to be confronted by 2 x battered Whitehouse under someone’s mattress.

    The best grumble vid ever to do the rounds in my mess was Horny Henry’s Interviews as I swear to God the first girl WAS Geri Halliwell.
     
  8. It has long been a bone of contention with me what some people term a porn “collection” to be. I always get my hopes up when I pop along with a bergan full of swapsies only to be confronted by 2 x battered Whitehouse under someone’s mattress.

    The best grumble vid ever to do the rounds in my mess was Horny Henry’s Interviews as I swear to God the first girl WAS Geri Halliwell!
     
  9. Ford, you must have RSI after 3 posts.
     
  10. posh wives
     
  11. Heard a good one about a Sect Comd (back in the day) getting his Sect in naked, putting on Gay porn and watching for "stirrings."
     
  12. HOW CAN YOU SET AN EXAMPLE TO YOUR TROOPS WHEN YOU ACT IN THIS WAY .
    OFFICER`S AND GENTLEMAN
     
  13. yannie, you ignorant cow, this is why Officers and Other Ranks live apart, so each can 'let their hair down' without affecting the other.
     
  14. Not directly porn related, but am amusing tale nonetheless...

    I was on stag in the CP on GRANBY when I found a photo of an ugly girl on the floor. assuming it had fallen off the "Pig Board" (To a Soldier in the Gulf - pen friend pictures), I replaced it. The next day I had a very grumpy signaller who wanted to know which barsteward had put his girlfriend's photo on the board!

    A certain officer (now CO) who was once a fellow mess member had a collection of very select specialist fetish magazines - Rubber and Latex, black and white photos, that you certainly couldn't buy in the NAAFI. Often amused ourselves leaving them (barely) hidden around the public rooms and watching him desperately trying to remove them before the 2IC/CO came accross them. Unfortunately the collection was lost when we accidently set fire to his room...we only meant to blow up his wardrobe!

    UQFEGD