Gender English

#1
THE TWO KINDS OF ENGLISH

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need... = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins
14.! Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm a homo
 
#4
Sluice_dweller said:
Bloody hell, just finished cleaning hte coffee up from the last few days.....

S-D
 
#5
No worries, it will teach me for thinking that I can read ARRSE safely whilst drinking my morning brew......Hmmmmm does that make me sad that logging on to ARRSE is now a part of my morning ritual. Can't possible start the day with out caffeine and ARRSE!!

S-D
 
#6
Sluice_dweller said:
......Hmmmmm does that make me sad that logging on to ARRSE is now a part of my morning ritual. Can't possible start the day with out caffeine and ARRSE!!

S-D
No, but they've made an emoticon in your honour

 

Auld-Yin

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#7
Sluice_dweller said:
No worries, it will teach me for thinking that I can read ARRSE safely whilst drinking my morning brew......Hmmmmm does that make me sad that logging on to ARRSE is now a part of my morning ritual. Can't possible start the day with out caffeine and ARRSE!!

S-D
S-D, you may note that some of my posts are around the 6am - 7 am timeslot so you are not along in getting your 'fix' first thing!

RC Sigs - love the emiticon.
 
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