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Some years ago, when Gazza moved from Newcastle to Portsmouth, for his first game, the Manager took him to one side.
"Look, son, this is a new club and things probable seem a bit strange to you after playing for the turnips up north".
"So", he says, "We have decided to play you to half time, then pull you".
"OOOHHHH", said Gazza, "At the Toon they just gives us an orange to suck".

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