gay

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by phil245, Jan 16, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you, I'm gay."
    His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay, doesn't that mean you have oral sex with other men?"
    The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right."
    His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and WHACKED him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about the taste of my cooking again!"
     
    • Like Like x 5
  2. A lad goes up to his father and says "dad I'm gay" fucking hell the dad says what about you he asks his other son? "yes dad I'm gay too"... thats fucking great , doesnt anyone in this family like pussy??? after a short pause his daughter says "yes I do dad"
     
    • Like Like x 4
  3. gay fella walks into the butchers and ask's for a large salami sausage, so the butchers starts slicing the salami and the puff say "what do you think my arse is a slot machine" ............2 puffs on a beach and one say's "cecil shall i put the brolly up?" he says "yes but don't fucking open it"!...
     
  4. Fuck me. Flashback to the embassy club. Keep em coming.


    Doing it with a finger or two,eyes scrunched a bit near the screen, trying to make sure I don't make a mess or mistake in the process.
     
  5. two condoms walkings past a gay bar, one says to the other "shall we go in here and get shitfaced?"
     
  6. Two gay lads walked into a bar, ordered and paid for a couple of pints.

    They sit at a table and had a natter about football, and when the next pub crawl was going to occur, when they were joined by a couple of their hetro mates. More ale was consumed, diirty jokes were swapped and all in all they had a great evening. They left without causing a scene, none of the party were abused or incommoded by the regulars and they vowed to return.

    What was funny about that?

    There were two gorgeous looking birds sat at the bar, whenever one the gay lads got a round in he'd spend a few minutes with them making them laugh. Whenever one of the straight lads went to the bar and stood next to the beauties, he found himself tongue-tied and awkward, until the 5th pint, but they'd gone by then.

    Now that's funny.
     
  7. Apparently one in ten people live next to a pedophile. Not me, I live next to two gorgeous 13 year olds...
    (stolen from Facebook)
     
  8. Gay bloke goes to join the Army.

    The recruitment Sgt asks him if he could kill a man.

    'Eventually', came the reply.