Gay Panda???

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BrettTaylor, Apr 5, 2012.

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  1. Well I've just been watching the news to hear the sad news that the 2 Panda's in Edinburgh Zoo have failed to mate!

    If you could only shag for 2 days a year and were locked in a cage with a female of the same species (even if it was Dot Cotton).... Well I know I'd have a handful of purple rinsed perm and my man meat so deep in her shit box it'd be tickling her tonsils!!!

    I call GAY PANDA!!!!
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  3. in_the_cheapseats

    in_the_cheapseats LE Moderator

    There is always next year....

    Christ, one chance of a shag a year.....bit like marriage.......
  4. The reason why Pandas are endangered?
  5. You may of very well stumbled across something here.... Ever thought of applying for a position of head of animal sexy stuff (not sure if that's the official title) at Edinburgh Zoo?
  6. Haha no wonder..... Problem identified now where can I find a Panda sized gimp suit and an industrial sized tub of KY???
  7. Who's doing the news coverage?

  8. Maybe she's just ugly by panda standards? Karen Matthews ugly.

    He's not a machine, you know. He has feelings.
  9. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    It's an Edinburgh thing. We all indulge in bumming over here.
  10. Christ! He's gone native quickly.

    He's taking sauce with that bamboo?
  11. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Only a heathen panda would take salt and vinegar with bamboo; The very notion!
  12. A bit of a waste bringing all that tea with him, then. It'll never get used.
  13. News now confirmed that the frigid bitch panda didn't put out despite "Sunshine" being up for a ride. Do we share a lot of DNA with pandas? I see a recurring theme here?! He even sprayed his musk all over her cage, bet her gaff was honking.
  14. I went to Edinburgh Zoo last year and had booked to see the pandas. Three things occurred to me:
    The first was how bloody particular the Chinese are when it comes to dictating how their little monochrome animal superstars are looked after. Not a problem in itself but fucking hypocritical when they're trying to take the rest of the animal kingdom in fucking tablet form in a vain attempt to cure what must be epidemic erectile dysfunction.
    The second thing that crossed my mind was that the so-called pandas are just people in costume- when our group was ushered into the presence of the female one (make sure your camera flashes are switched off) she was sitting in a very human-like way. Maybe if she acted more like a bear the male panda would find her more fuckable. Just a thought.
    The third panda-related thing which I found amusing was that on buying a panda soft toy in the gift shop, there was no 'Made in China' label anywhere to be found.

    Aside from that, I liked the zoo a great deal. The rhinos were very good- charging through their mudbath in a tank-like fashion and obviously having a very good time.
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