Gay officers

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Clanker
Hello,

I really want to go to Sandhurst and to become an officer and I'm determined to do so. However I am gay, I've come out to some friends and some family but I'm not really showy and shouty about it. I'm definatly not a stereotypical gay and don't really come across as. Should I go into Sandhurst being open or should I wait until I get to regiment or should I just not say anything. Also how would my superiors react or think about it.

Any tips for when to come out and also how would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
 
Last edited:
Hello,

I really want to go to Sandhurst and to become an officer and I'm determined to do so. However I am gay, I've come out to some friends and some family but I'm not really showy and shouty about it. I'm definatly not a stereotypical gay and don't really come across as. Should I go into Sandhurst being open or should I wait until I get to regiment or should I just not say anything. Also how would my superiors react or think about it. I was also thinking about doing a Gap Year commission and again should I be open for that year or just keep it to myself.

Any tips for when to come out and also how would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

What's a stereotypical gay?
 
It makes no difference, so long as you have the ability to pass the course.

Don't hide it, but equally no need to make a big deal about it either. Theres no need to 'come out' at all.
 
Hello,

I really want to go to Sandhurst and to become an officer and I'm determined to do so. However I am gay, I've come out to some friends and some family but I'm not really showy and shouty about it. I'm definatly not a stereotypical gay and don't really come across as. Should I go into Sandhurst being open or should I wait until I get to regiment or should I just not say anything. Also how would my superiors react or think about it. I was also thinking about doing a Gap Year commission and again should I be open for that year or just keep it to myself.

Any tips for when to come out and also how would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

I know of a couple of 'openly gay' officers from working with them, and a number of openly gay soldiers.

In essence I'd suggest the best option is reserved honesty. If asked then be truthful, but don't shout it from the rooftops.

Regarding the gap year, I'd suggest a slightly different policy, depending entirely on where you are going, make sure you know the local law - however backwards it is.

Edit to add: Gap year bit was for a 'normal' gap year. for a Gap year Commission I would suggest exactly the same policy.
 
I'm not camp, thats what i mean

I thought that was something that only really happened in sitcoms from the 60s and 70s. I've got friends who also happen to be gay, and some of them could be described as more masculine than my straight friends.
 
I'm not camp, thats what i mean

When did being camp mean you are automatically gay?
You sound very prejudiced.
 

jim30

LE
The ban on openly being a homosexual in the military was lifted nearly 20 years ago. Since that point being gay in the military is an utterly routine matter that, frankly, no one cares about. Your choice of sexual preference, lifestyle and partner remains your private business as long as your choices and partners are legal, of the age of consent and consensual in nature.

There are plenty of openly homosexual officers at all levels in the military, ranging from junior entry through to senior ranks. It doesnt make the slightest bit of difference to how they do their job and they are promoted on merit and not their lifestyle.

My honest advice is be yourself, don't feel ashamed of who you are, don't assume anyone cares about your lifestyle choices (e.g. don't be Daffyd from Little Britain), and just crack on. I'm reminded of hearing about someone who came out to his blokes as gay, to the reply 'We've known for ages boss, its not a problem, and its your round Ducky' :)
 
But any tips for coming out???

if you're looking for an audience who generally have little or no experience of a subject but are willing to offer advice then you've come to the right place.

on that note, just be yourself and dont make a big deal about it, no one else will.
 
But any tips for coming out???

What exactly are you expecting?

Do you expect to address the whole of RMAS and get a round of applause?

The best advice you're going to get is, get on with passing the course. No-one gives a shit who you stick your willy in in your private life. Its exactly that. Private. It has no relevance to 12 months of military training.

And has absolutely zero bearing on your ability to be an Officer.
 

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