Gaw Dam!.. Its Friday the 13th!!

Friday the 13th...now I'm not saying I'm superstitious, but I am suspicious of events that seem to go, shall we say, ' hinky' on such days..

anyone have a tale to tell or want to get a worry off their chest?

 

Friday the 13th is only unlucky if you are of the Knights Templar and you have pisshed off a certain Pope

I'll get me fecking coat then

 

Bloody tell me about it!

My Friday 13th began at 1.45am last night, with a drunken ex boyfriend trying to get into the house, not realising in his drunken state that I have chucked him out and he doesnt live there anymore.

To get some peace, after almost an hour of arguing, I relented and gave him the sofa to sleep on.....which, in true squaddie style, he swamped.

Add to that, our son was being a complete shite this morning and thought it funny to hide my phone, I finally got my arse into work all of two minutes ago - thats over an hour late!

I dread to think what the rest of today will bring!

 

I awoke this morning to the tump of tiny elephant feet as they paraded through my brain, in a valiant effort to make work on time, I shaved half my face off and smacked my face into a wardrobe dorr that was standing open. Then I found out that I had accidentally washed and tumble dried my beret - if anyone has a 4 year old child that wants one of Du Bora's finest, let me know.

now I have to work out how to travel the 25 miles to pick up my car that is parked illegally.

I'd say that was pretty fecking unlucky so far.

 

So you're single then Moody? I'll only argue for half an hour and my small bladder will have limited piss when I swamp the sofa. Plus you'd get 30 seconds of my best strokes twice a day.

What more could you want in life?

 

Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse!

 

Openned chequbook a few minutes ago to do the honourable thing and pay my mess bill and what do I find but a cheque made out to Truprint-this means the film of a rather spectacular mess party has gone without payment-DOH!

 

Sounds familiar........ thank fcuk she's history.

My day is semi-shite too, but I don't know if you can blame it on Friday the 13th. Last night I did all my investigating on the net for a holiday in August, wrote all the info down so as to book it today, and I've noticed my credit card is not in my pocket. It is in fact, currently at home going round and around in the washing machine on a number four wash, along with my security pass, restaurant key fob and a ten quid note which I was to use on the way home for a few Friday afternoon pints and a curry. So my day is...... shiite.

 

Well i'm flying to London this afternoon so I hope I can inform you all of a sucsessfull arrival however i'm slightly concerned and will be a little worried until such time as i've got my feet on solid ground again.

 

Strangely enough a young lad in a little peugeot ran into the back of my car this morning.

 

Where do you live that you can get a few pints and a curry for a tenner

 

Today is my baby sisters birthday and being the true devil chav she is she is 13 on friday 13th. Hmmm should i go to the party or hide in the house until its safe???

 

You should stay at home and frig yourself till you bleed. Stopping only to take pictures and post them on here.

 

The Friday 13th that cemented the idea that there might just be something to all this happened a few years back.. I was enjoying a rare moment of marital bliss - lunch with the wife and kids - when there was a knock at the door.

opened it to find the neighbour from two doors up, cap in hand, standing there trying to tell me there had been a 'slight' accident with my car. Took me a moment to clue in as my auto was parked in my driveway..but, I followed him outside to find my next door neighbour apoplectic and his wife sobbing uncrontrollably as they stared at a multi-car pile-up in my driveway...

I share a driveway with the chap next door.. On my side was the missus' car and mine lined up bumper to bumper. My neighbour had a beauty of a little red Japanese sportster on his side, only 675 km on the dial, a ' birthday gift' to his bride...
on the other side of him is a small piece of grass, laughingly called a lawn, surrounded by a split rail fence, and then the other neighbour's drive.

well, it seems, that said neighbour had two cars, one of which was a crapmobile, he was in the process of ' restoring '.. Finished puttering for the day he wanted to put it back in his garage, and, as it didn't run, he had to push it. Unable to budge it on the drive's incline he elected to use his other vehicle to assist with the push. Putting the ' good' car up against the clunker's bumper, he put it in gear and placed a brick on the accelerator, As it began to move the other car, he ran up and hopped in to apply the brakes when it got to the desired spot and not crash through his wall..

Well, brakes applied, the car stopped, but the other, still brick powered wanted to keep going, and it did, sliding off the bumper, it drove through the fence, over the lawn, plowed into the birthday present which was shoved sideways across the drive into my and the missus' cars, before he could get out run over and pull the brick off the pedal and shut her down.

after tearing hair out and browbeating the nutter for being such a nutbar, the cops arrive to look into matters. First plod there asks who was driving vehicle A.. answer no one, vehicle B same , and so on.. He's scratching his head over what to do. calls supervisor who arrives and surveys damage, gets full on embellished story...
They confer.. seems they can't charge him with a ' driving' offence as he wasn't behind the wheel.. they dig out little book and finally decide to write him up for destruction of private property -the fence - and unsafe operation of machinery - the brick on the pedal - as there's nothing in the traffic laws to cover bricks as vehicle operators..

After muich pain I call the insurance to report accident in driveway and spend 45 minutes trying to make adjuster understand the story then trying to stop her from laughing over the phone long enough to tell me where I can get help for damaged cars.

Spent from day's unexpected turn I go to top of basement stairs to get coat, step on kid's soccer ball and promptly do a header down 13 [ I know, scary ] stairs...instead of calming walk I end up in Emergency with dislocated shoulder, cracked rib and bruised kidney...

since then I've stayed in as much as possible on Friday 13th...

 

I was due to have a flying test this morning, but I decided not to risk it...