Garden Sadly Lacking

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Twattipus, Jul 13, 2011.

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  1. I have just moved in with the future Mrs Twatty in readiness of completing my Colour Service. we have a nice plot of land to the rear of the property with ample room for the Twatty hound to crap all over, but there is a little something lacking.

    I need a shed. I have no shed and I need one.

    Sadly being something of a shed virgin, I have little idea of the ideal shed for me.

    Can any of the Shedii give me any tips on which one I should get?

    I have already ordered a greenhouse so no help needed there.
  2. Oh fuck.This will not end well.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. i know, brilliant!
  4. depends what you're going to put in it? you'll need enough room for maddie...
  5. Maddie's in the cellar/dungeon. The shed will be used for more mundane things. Storing a lawn mower perhaps and maybe a few gardening implements. The greenhouse ccannot be used for storage as it'll be full of my tomato plants, cucumbers and herb nursery.
  6. I call Liar. Maddie is in Zero_Over's cellar... unless... noooo.... zero_alpha is a bint Fuck me, (s)he's ugly.

    edit: And, wait, you're going to marry it! You need more sheds.
  7. Doesn't matter what you get in the end, but remember - no matter how big your shed is, you'll wish you'd got a bigger one.
  8. Buying a garden implement storage facility can be gone about in two ways. One is steeped in myth and legend with many arcane rituals and strange goings on in the dark of night with pacing and whirling dervish like around at dawn during the solstice whilst drunk.

    The second method is to measure how much space you have, look at how much money you want to spend and then buy the biggest one that fits both criteria.

    Your choice of which you follow of course.
  9. I've always quiet liked the idea of having a secret underground bunker underneath a shed. From the outside it just looks like you've built the shed on a concrete plinth, but 20ft down you've got somewhere to get away from it all and smoke a pipe in your underpants and read Gardener's World it peace. No doubt after a few years, and when you start to feel confident enough, it'll turn into a rape dungeon.
    • Like Like x 2
  10. You are wise in the ways of the Shedii. Will you take me on as your Paduan?
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Try asking AK, his house is a f*cking shed............
  12. Zen


    This is true. So i say live in the shed and put all your shit in the house.
  13. do you like werthers originals and have smooth thighs and buttocks?
  14. I dare say that the auto generated adverts have kicked in. If not keep this thread topical and bumped and they soon will, your ARRSE forum should be visited regular from the likes of Shed Store, Sheds Direct, Shed World... Sheds! Sheds! Sheds! Sheds! Sheds! Lovely sheds! Lovely sheds!

    Just to whet your whistle: