Game/Quiz show participation

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Fat_Cav, Aug 26, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Right then, I've been to my Deal or No Deal audition and have come away with a Silver Ticket, which means I have to play the waiting game to see if I'm on the show or not.

    I did appear on Fifteen to One - Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaover a decade ago and bombed out in the first round (Thick twat that I am!!=|) and have been tempted to apply to The Weakest Link, just so I can be abused by a wrinkly GILF.

    As most of you are sponging gimme gimme gimme fuckers, has anyone else auditioned or even appeared on a game/quiz show?

    PS. Scroty pub quizzes don't count.
  2. I think someone is trying to tell me something with this one.
    I've auditioned for 3 shows. Fifteen to one, Weakest Link and Egg Heads. Did very well on all three with the auditions but didn't get a look in on any. I don't think I'm photoj... fotoge.... I think I'm an ugly bastard. No joke, on 15-1 there was a bloke called 'Paddy' on our game and he didn't get one bloody question right. He was actually wearing wellies too.(think it was a plant) Yet he appeared on the show some 5 months later. All my auditions were in London.
    Luck of the draw and it helps if there is something odd about you I reckon!

    Slight aside.... William G Stewart to nervous lady during quiz
    Q " From which port did the Spanish Armada set sail to do battle with the Royal Navy in (forgot year!)?
    A " Erm ... Ermm Tilbury?
    If looks could kill.
  3. That should be Tilbury then?
  4. A friend of mine, lets call him John as that was his name, was on 15-1 a couple of times and also made it onto Mastermind, he never won either of them but wasn't that far awy.

    As for myself the only ones I have been on have been on the radio, I have a great face for it, and came 2nd in one and won one. I would love to have a go on The Weakest Link just to get up close and personal with Mizzzzz Robinson
  5. If anyone gets on Weakest Link please feel free to use this on that harridan Anne Robinson when she calls you a thick twat:

    AR (for it is she): So you really are a thick twat.

    Contestant: Sadly yes I am, Anne - but it could be so much worse.

    AR: How so?

    Contestant: Because I could be a ginger and a Scouser, Anne.
  6. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Many, many moons ago I was on Winner Takes All with Geoffrey Wheeler, didn't win but got a dictionary set (which was useful before google) signed by Wheeler plus put up in hotel, all expenses paid and a nice wee bung for beer tokens.

    A few years later appeared on 15 to 1, got down to last 5. Got a flight down to London, a few expenses and that was it.

    Both were interesting days out and fun. I am not so sure I would want to appear in Deal or No Deal, apart from Edmonds being a twat it is not the most challenging competition :(
  7. I did a Blockbusters audition before I joined up. Interestingly they chose two girls who were the only one's to get questions wrong. I had the pleasure to watch them lose without getting a gold run whilst I was in basic training.
    William G Stewart was in the Army with my 2nd cousin (lovely old boy that I refer to as Uncle Bill (my 2nd cousin not Bill Stewart) and they still keep in touch. Think he was Education Corps? Anyway, meant to be a thoroughly nice chap
  8. I agree with you about it not being challenging, but a week or so being put-up in a swanky hotel in Bristol, a (small) tab behind the bar and a majority of the players getting lashed every night sounds like a very good reason to appear. Oh! . .You can win a huge wedge too.

    I can't stand these Tea-time ITV game shows (Golden Balls and others, including the one with Bradley Walsh which I can't remember the name) as they're a bit naff and pointless. It's whatever flicks your switch I suppose.
  9. I still don't get it.A whole hour devoted to people opening random boxes.And because they have a piccie of their grandchild on the desk,they are going to win big due to Noel's cosmic intervention.
    Oh and don't mention helicopters to Noel.
  10. I had the opportunity to examine la Robinson at close quarters a few years ago and can confirm that she is totally covered in fine ginger hairs like a kiwi fruit.
  11. Or bungee jumping!:)
  12. The thing is with DOND is that you have to 'play the game', It's televison after all. If it means holding a crap photo of your long dead Ol' Grandad followed by a few sobs, then that's how it goes (I guess). If you press the right buttons with the Banker he (appears) to give you bigger offers, which is why we were all trying to get there.

    As a concept, I agree, it's a bit pointless. No skill, no intelligence or savvy required but as it's supposed to be a cross-section of the population, then in that respect it's successful. You should have seen some of the mongs (and cracking totty) at the audition that still got through. They wouldn't have succeeded on an active-input type show such as Weakest Link, Who Dares Wins, et al
  13. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    Mate of mine was n it he used something similer

    Ended it with shall I wait whilst you ring the writer for a witty put down?
  14. terroratthepicnic

    terroratthepicnic LE Reviewer Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Runners

    I keep applying for total wipeout. You get to fly to South america, have a laugh around a giant water assult course and get to chat up some fine Irish totty.
    Oh, and if your good enough, you get to win some wedge too.
  15. Good Luck Fat_Cav.

    If and when you get on, try and remember these pointers.

    1) Always indicate your box preference with an open hand chopping motion.

    2) Don't mince up to the guy who opens a blue box and kiss him. Manly handshake please. (Blank him if he opens a high red, and say. "Moving on")

    3) Purposeful stride to the girl that opens a blue box and drag her over the counter. Dramatic kiss. Use your tongue. Drop her on the floor. (Same IA drill if she opens a red.)

    4) Little granny takes out the 250K? Put your war face on and threaten to punch her. Then state. "Only joking love."

    5) Don't give Edmunds a sob story about how sad your life has been. Tell him you are here for the money. End of.

    6) When you say. "Thank you banker, but no deal" use the time honoured and appropriate hand movement on the word 'banker'.

    7) Refuse to place a picture of your pet/girlfriend/wife/grannie for PERSEC reasons.

    8) Before the show and at the bar, arrange with the other players beforehand, an odd/rude word that has to be said live without Edmunds twigging, (cash incentives here) Introduce them to 'Freckles' 'Spoons' and 'The 3 man lift'

    9) Go to the bitter end regardless of the amount on the table. Then laugh like a drain, like you don't care if it's 1p.

    10) Whenever you get a high red box, cough into your hand and say "Arrsse" at the same time.