Gambling

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by J_D, Jul 12, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. J_D

    J_D LE

    Gamblers are a species unto themselves esp. people with a big problem. They lie and steal, even to their own flesh and blood!

    At work today I took a call from an American telling me he has a gambling problem, that he could not take hurting his family any more. Not that it would count, they had all left him. Poor fella is on his own. Threatening suicide! I obviously had to listen. Turns out he has lost 1.5million in $'s, got sacked from work, is up on a charge! And all I want to do was shout down the phone "STOP FCUKING GAMBLING THEN YOU STUPID CNUT!!!"

    So why waste money that could be spent on something better?

    Apart from the professional advice, how would you advise this guy?
     
  2. If he's considering topping himself, then he may as well go postal at the casino and put a few other saddoes out of their misery too. Failing that, learn to cheat, count cards etc.
     
  3. J_D

    J_D LE

    You can't learn to cheat on online casino/poker sites. It is all computer random generated. I just think the idiot should of just learnt when to stop.
     
  4. :oops: Thats just me showing my age I'm afraid. I still think in terms of having to physically go to a bookies or casino in order to throw your money away.
     
  5. You really think he'll top himself? 3 to 1 he ain't got the bottle.
     
  6. J_D

    J_D LE

    Ah, everything is on the internet now! Just a click away.

    As for not having the bottle - who knows, americans (no offense) tend to over react more from experience.
     
  7. LOL @ IdleAdjt
     
  8. Laugh at me! Cheeky fecker.
     
  9. IdleAdt,

    Can i put a pound on that please??
     
  10. So you work for the Samaritans? 8O
     
  11. J_D

    J_D LE

    No, I work for the licensee's to the major online casino/poker sites.
     
  12. Well if some bloke phoned me up saying he was going to top himself after spunking $1.5m with my coy, I would laugh just thinking about he end of year bonus he's contributed to.

    Advise him to go mad with an assault rifle.
     
  13. J_D

    J_D LE

    You get some idiots demanding their money back that they lost on a poker game. Claiming it was a fix. They tend to say that they did not realise they had pressed a certain button etc. When will they realise that they cannot out wit a big company? We had one customer from UK claiming he was going to take us to court, that the computer system does not random generate numbers/cards. That he knows it all. Is God playing now?
     
  14. So he's lost $1.5 million to gambling. He must be really sh!te at it.
    For gods sack after the first $500k you would have thought he would have got a book out of the library on the subject or enrolled in an evening class of "Poker 101".

    Rule 1. Never gamble more than you can loose.
    Rule 2. see rule one.

    He has given us gamblers a bad name.

    Either that or your company is ripping off joe public :lol:


    P.S You could have pointed him to Williamhill.co.uk you get a free 50 chip when you join their site.
    P.P.S he could try playing russian rulette when he tops him self, he might make some money! (Spelling?)
     
  15. Can I have £50 quid either way? :lol:

    Ghost