G W Bushs policies meet Monty Python

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by rabid_hamster, Jan 11, 2007.

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  1. From the Huffington Post ...
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/martin-lewis/bush-meets-monty-python_b_38371.html


    Swing Voter: I wish to register a complaint. I wish to complain about this policy what I bought into just two years ago from your political party.

    George W. Bush: Oh yes - the Iraqi Mission... What's wrong with it?

    Swing Voter: I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead. That's what's wrong with it!

    George W. Bush: No, no it's not dead. It's being re-purposed.

    Swing Voter: Look - I know a dead policy when I see one. And I'm looking at one right now.

    George W. Bush: No... no! It's not dead. It's being re-thought. Remarkable military we have don't we? Wonderful courage!

    Swing Voter: Their courage don't enter into it. The policy is stone dead.

    George W. Bush: No, no, no! It's being re-modeled!

    Swing Voter: Alright - if it's being re-modeled let's see if it works now. HELLO POLICY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

    (Bush makes appeal for Sunnis and Shiites to get along - they respond by killing even more Americans.)

    Swing Voter: Now that's what I call a dead policy.

    George W. Bush: No, no.... No, it's just stalled!

    Swing Voter: STALLED?!?

    George W. Bush: Yeah! It stalled just as it was about to kick in. Iraqi Missions stall easily.

    Swing Voter: Now look, I've had enough of this. This policy is definitely deceased. And when I bought into it in November 2004 you assured me that it's total lack of success was a misperception due to a prolonged squawk coming from the liberal media.

    George W. Bush: Well, it's... it's errr... probably pining for a surge...

    Swing Voter: PININ' for a SURGE?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look why did it fall flat on its back the moment the 2004 election was over?

    George W. Bush: Iraqi Missions tend to take their time! Remarkable military! Wonderful courage!

    Swing Voter: Look, I finally took the liberty of examining this policy recently and I discovered the only reason that it had been perceived as workable in the 
first place was that you lied to us.

    George W. Bush: Well, of course I lied to you! ! If I hadn't lied to you this policy would have nuzzled up to those Iraqis, sorted out them Sunnis from the Shits and 
VOOM!!

    Swing Voter: "VOOM"?!? This policy wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!

    George W. Bush: No no! It's pining!

    Swing Voter: It's NOT pining! It's passed on! This policy is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to your election platform it'd be pushing up the daisies! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket! It's shuffled off its mortal coil. Rung down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS.... IS AN EX-POLICY!!
     
  2. well I thought it was funny...

    Bush is acting like a tyrant desperately clinging onto power with policies and statements that aren't workable (you can delete bush and insert blair if we start talking about our dear leader :p)
     
  3. id like to see bush be forced to sing the lumberjack song! especialy the last verse hee hee hee hee :wink:
     
  4. Didn't the last tyrant of Iraq meet with a somewhat sudden demise? I keep hearing that history repeats itself. For once I really hope it does.
     
  5. Brilliant.
     
  6. i'd like to see him singing 'always look on the bright side of life'...if only because he'd be nailed to a cross in the blazing sun...cnut
     
  7. crucifictions too good for some
     
  8. Take I'm outside and nail some sense into him, Thats what I say :)
     
  9. I'm sorry, I'm not in the least bit impresed with this thread.

    It's not at all funny to post up a thread which has at one end the very finest hour in British comedy, whilst at the other end a pair of cnuts that are the least funny in the history of mankind.

    Talk about anything you like, but please don't sully the good names of the Monty Python boys by having their names anywhere near (and I mean 1,000 miles, not just a different page) these oxygen thieves.

    Monty Python makes me laugh, those pair of knackers make me want to throw.
     
  10. Ooh, get her! Whoops, I've got your number ducky, you couldn't afford me dear, two three. I'll scratch your eyes out! Don't come the Brigadier bit with us, dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy. Two, three, one, two, three, four, five, six. Whoops! Don't look now girls, the man has just minced in with that jolly colour Sergeant, two three. Oooh!
     
  11. Nail him up, I say!

    (quote from life of brian) :D
     
  12. Right thats enough of that!
    Its all very silly ..... and a bit suspect I think.
    NOW, lets have something decent and military ........... the Queens Own Royal Marine Mincers!


    With apologies to Mr Chapman
     
  13. Fugly

    Fugly LE DirtyBAT

    Crucifixions a doddle!

    At least it gets you out in the fresh air.....

    Could be worse, you could be stabbed!

    etc etc
     
  14. Alwaaaaays look on the briiight side of liiiife!

    'Scuse me Mr Bliar sir, could you just help me out and hold this for a moment, thanks.