Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Padrat, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Wife: 'What are you doing?'
    Husband: Nothing.
    Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
    Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'


    Wife: 'Do you want dinner?'
    Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
    Wife: 'Yes or no.'


    Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
    Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
    Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
    Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'


    Girl: ‘When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
    Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
    Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet'


    Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
    Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
    Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

    A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
    'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'


    Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever
    The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

    A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
    He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'