In the same vein as "Funny things that kids say" thread. My Grandad was a PARA during WW2 (I'm not a grandad Walt!) and his lack of PC and quick wit was a source of all our ammusment before he passed away. One of the many quips he come out with that I've dined out on since was during a visit to see me in Germany about 10 Yrs ago. Due to my kids being young and boisterous I booked him in a local hotel that was also our local pub. On arrival the German Landlady greeted him with; Good day Mr ____ is this your first time visiting Germany? Unarmed it is! My Grandad replied. I wanted that reply on his gravestone!