Funny texts you shouldnt send to your other half!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Airfix, Nov 28, 2007.

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  1. "Every time I see u.... I smile!
    When u walk... I laugh!
    When u talk... I get excited!
    For some strange reason, retarded people just amuse the fcuk out of me!"

    Ah well, back to Lady Palmer and her five daughters til heat blows over.... :roll:
     
  2. Today is International Disadvantaged Peoples Day. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend, just as I have done. I don't care if you lick windows, interfere with animals or occasionally shit yourself - you hang in there sunshine - you're fucking special!
     
  3. Sent: Babes thanks for last night, the way you stand to attention and gargle the national anthem with my cum really gets me wanting more xxxxxx

    Received in reply: I thought you were on guard you bastard. Don't bother coming home, I won't be there!
     
  4. Hope u get a yeast infection, so u can feel what its like to live with an irratating c@@t for a change. x
     
  5. GONE TO PUB. BACK LATE. LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL HAVE ANOTHER BLACK EYE TO EXPLAIN TO THE NEIGHBOURS.
     
  6. I'm shagging this bird at work (Dont tell my missus)
     
  7. Sent "Can me and 5 of my mates fcuk you tonight? x"
    Recieved "No!"
    Sent "Well can I stick a watermelon in your pussy x?"
    Recieved "No!"
    Sent "Why have you stopped putting kisses in your messages? x"

    Needless to say she is no longer my other half.