Funny texts you shouldnt send to your other half!

#1
"Every time I see u.... I smile!
When u walk... I laugh!
When u talk... I get excited!
For some strange reason, retarded people just amuse the fcuk out of me!"

Ah well, back to Lady Palmer and her five daughters til heat blows over.... :roll:
 
#2
Today is International Disadvantaged Peoples Day. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend, just as I have done. I don't care if you lick windows, interfere with animals or occasionally shit yourself - you hang in there sunshine - you're fucking special!
 
#3
Sent: Babes thanks for last night, the way you stand to attention and gargle the national anthem with my cum really gets me wanting more xxxxxx

Received in reply: I thought you were on guard you bastard. Don't bother coming home, I won't be there!
 
#7
Sent "Can me and 5 of my mates fcuk you tonight? x"
Recieved "No!"
Sent "Well can I stick a watermelon in your pussy x?"
Recieved "No!"
Sent "Why have you stopped putting kisses in your messages? x"

Needless to say she is no longer my other half.
 

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