Funny Stories

Discussion in 'Professionally Qualified, RAMC and QARANC' started by WasMe, Sep 14, 2004.

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  1. Has anyone got any REAL funny stories which show the funny side of our job???

    I know that CMTs can see the funny side in everything (check your future) but i am not sure about OTT's (yes i am old), nurses, lab techs, or even the MSO??

    Come on fellow ARRSEers give me a laugh!
     
  2. Ventress

    Ventress LE Moderator

    Nothing I could put in writing- they would be works of fiction! especially at
    6 Fd Fce Fd Amb! :twisted:
     
  3. Kel

    Kel Old-Salt

    Young lad with us went down with the heat on Telic. Was taken to med tent and told they had to take temp, was then told how this was going to be done, ie rectal. Said chap started to tell medic to feck off, passed out and woke up with kecks at ankles 8O Moral of this story, don't start to mouth off to medics, (especially in a situation like this), you never know what's going to happen.
     
  4. Usual trick for young BMSs starting in the job was a good old Microbiology trick.

    Place a bit of a mars bar in a universal and label said universal. Place in an incubator for 1 hour, said mars bar piece now looks like a stool. Invite new guy to watch you "put up" the samples. Open universal, sniff, place loop in and eat a piece. Watch said new guy run off to vomit.

    However, don't mix them up and remember to sniff in case you have mixed them up :twisted:
     
  5. Ventress

    Ventress LE Moderator

    Now I'd pay a $ to see that mistake! Or have in
    Rinteln Rugby Club?
     
  6. I remember fondly my first ever "Active Edge" back in the mists of time (1984) up in sunny 1 AFA in the holiday resort of Bergen-Hohne.

    For you young uns the "Active Edge" was a full "the Russkies have rolled over the border, chuck all the gear in the back of the 432's & lets all fcuk off into the woods and dig holes to hide in" type affair.

    So the balloon went up at about 2am (they never seemed to invade monday to friday 9-5) and like startled young gazelles my roommate, who had just come out of training with me, and I were up dressed in green, knapsack on my back, weapons in hand (SMG that is) & loading the waggons with boxes of plasters & savlon within about 15 minutes.

    Funny enough I did notice that manpower seemed a bit lacking during this period considering that WW3 had just broken out.

    Anyway after the kit was loaded I decided to pop back up to the block to grab some mars bars from my locker to see me through the long war ahead.

    Imagine my surprise to see the rest of the lads in my section coming out of the ablutions with towels around them having just come out of a relaxing shower (after a bit of a lie in).

    Oh how they laughed at my N.I.G. like enthusiasm!!!!!








    Bastards.... :evil:

    .
     
  7. Nothing to do with the sick, lame or lazy but.

    My CO was on the Tribal Class Frigates and at the rear is a cable pit, they were on a jolly in the Windies and it was very hot so they got permission to empty the Cable Pit and fill it with Sea Water. the Jimmy was about to do rounds and my CO was a junior flag wagger at the time, he got a mars bar, moulded it in his hands to look like a log of poo and neatly floated it on the "pool". the Jimmy saw said log and said what the feck is that?
    my CO looked at it with faked horror, grabbed it and smelt it, retched, bit it and chewed, looked the Jimmy square in the eye said, "Sh it Sir" and saluted.

    Jimmy lost his lunch overboard and made his exit, the matelots laughed like no tomorrow.

    Rincewind
     
  8. Ventress

    Ventress LE Moderator

    And I thought the Navy would have used a real jobby!
     
  9. [quote="Rincewind
    Nothing to do with the sick, lame or lazy but.

    My CO was on the Tribal Class Frigates and at the rear is a cable pit, they were on a jolly in the Windies and it was very hot so they got permission to empty the Cable Pit and fill it with Sea Water. the Jimmy was about to do rounds and my CO was a junior flag wagger at the time, he got a mars bar, moulded it in his hands to look like a log of poo and neatly floated it on the "pool". the Jimmy saw said log and said what the feck is that?
    my CO looked at it with faked horror, grabbed it and smelt it, retched, bit it and chewed, looked the Jimmy square in the eye said, "Sh it Sir" and saluted.

    Jimmy lost his lunch overboard and made his exit, the matelots laughed like no tomorrow.

    Rincewind[/quote]


    I suppose being humerous is a diverse career change for the Navy considering that their primary function is to bugg*r young men whilst doing a good impersonation of a fat unfit cu*nt.
     
  10. Hmmmm. thought it was medics who were into buggery? according to my dad anyway - who found this out when he was attached to 2AFA in the 80's
     
  11. Reveal more Rince!!!!
     
  12. Ventress

    Ventress LE Moderator

    I see ther word 'attached' and my thoughts are taken to the RCT!
     
  13. My memory seems to make me think it was the RCT (now RLC) who were commiting this type of indecency :twisted:

    Us Medics would never do such things like that :roll: