Funny stories about yank soldiers

Slightly off topic but is it true that in the States they refer to the Great War of 1917-1918......? :wink:
ask anyone else who's had the misfortune of a month in Bagram air base their opinion and I don't think you'll find them very funny just very very self obsessed and scary as hell to work with.

I did manage to convince one that HAGGIS is a wee animal that only lives on the hills of Scotland with 2 legs shorter than the other so they can run round without falling off, and that we ( Jocks ) have an active conservation programme to make sure the hagi with their left legs shorter meet the ones with the right legs shorter in order for an effective breeding programme to continue!
I know its not that funny but it sure made him look dumb and my wee teams time there a bit more pleasant
Excercise Certain Strike (Reforger 88), we were due to advance through a yank position. The 2nd Captain of The Queens Company said "get amongst them and have what you want"

Needless to say, with us being the good troops that we were, we took him to his word, nicking everything that wasn't bolted down (that included their weapons), and generally tearing the arse. They were due to do the same, but for some reason, they decided to find a different route. Never did work out whether they were crap at map reading or the fact that everything was locked in the wagons and we all had pick elves........

Same exercise, the mortar platoon set up a moody diversion and stopped a yank staff car. The opened the briefcase that the high ranker has with him, and it contained the American contingency plans on what to do should the Russians invade whilst this exercise was taking all accounts, that went down really well in Washington
I think it was back in early 1968 in Iceland, we had a deep penetration excersize (that sounds sexual !!) where we were to travel at night in small groups and meet up and attack the USMC en masse. They thought we would take ages to get to them and we caught them at breakfast. They told us they did not expect us for another day and asked did we come by truck.LOL
ParanoidHal, I'm sending you a bill for a new spasticometer. I got a sniff on some of your earlier idiotic posts, waved it in your direction and bang. Springs and cogs everywhere.
Its seems you have a very, very severe case of spasticitus. A car is on it's way with a rubber hat, a big nappy, a big red balloon and an ice cream.
Im hoping, oh God, Allah, Vishnu and Jehova I'm hoping that you'll be so engrossed with your shiny new balloon that you'll STOP POSTING BOLL0CKS.
Re upsetting the yanks...

On Ex Crusader in 1980 my battalion had to put in a bridgehead on the Leine and hold it until the Yank armour tipped up and built a bridge to get the tanks across.

We had a US officer (a white bloke) and his driver and signaller (two black guys) attached to our Bn HQ for the assault and link up.

Once the bridgehead had been secured we began digging in. As we'd gone in on light scales (I was carrying the CO's radio) we were a bit short on picks and shovels to dig in. The Bn Ops Officer (a decent chap who looked after the troops) spotted that the US LO's jeep was festooned with shovels etc. He walked up to the LO and, in earshot of the two US coloured guys, asked:

"Could we borrow your spades to help us dig in?"

The black signaller was on the radio to his bn Race Race relations officer with a "racial harassment" complaint faster than you could say "mine's a pint".

Needless to say, we couldn't borrow the shovels 'cos the black guys went on strike and f*kced off with their jeep to keep out of the way. This annoyed everyone who was hoping to steal some of their kit.

The US LO was miffed 'cos he had to try and persuade them to come back and sort out his comms.

As for our Ops Officer, he had a "what did I do wrong?" expression on his face for a while but eventually we managed to dig ourselves a glorified shell scrape and settled down with a couple of tins of compo Steak and Kidney pud and Rice Pudding for tea.

Ahh, happy days...


Rodney2q said:
"Could we borrow your spades to help us dig in?"

The black signaller was on the radio to his bn Race Race relations officer with a "racial harassment" complaint faster than you could say "mine's a pint".

Step away from the keyboard, everyone thinks you're fcuking wierd anyway, laughing like a frigging loon whilst sat at your desk isn't exactly helping the situation.
managed to wind up the national guard attached to us that the entire battalion was gay sort of spartan thing and the rsm had the hots for him :twisted:
Is that in "Uniform" ?, surely you mean "Liquidform".
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