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funny Similes

No it isn't a typo!

I am constantly amused by the ever inventive use of similes by our brethren, but I am runing dry. Therefore, this is a plea to all out silver tongued-masters of irony, post your similes here.


Sweating like a scouser in a spelling bee
As amusing as burning orphanage

etc etc.
dead like madeline?

I'm as bored as Fritzl's daughter

it looked like rolf harris eating a banana

sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop

shaking like Muhammad Ali on a tumble dryer

ripped like a virgin's hymen
Nipples like Bedford wheelnuts(Mil) Regarding a lady in an excited state

Like an Abbo's armpit(Aus) An alledgedly malodorous place.

Pull out my piles and call me macaroni.(Exclamation) An indication of surprise
She,s seen more helmets than Hitler.

She s got a fanny like a badly packed kebab

Face like a plasterers radio.

Got a fanny like a Hippos yawn

Shes been shot over more times than Baghdad

Shes handled more balls than David James.

Shes got piss flaps like a gutted trout.

Shes seen more stiffs than Quincy

Shes been cocked more times than John Waynes shotgun.

Even the ferkin tide would not take her out.

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