funny Similes


No it isn't a typo!

I am constantly amused by the ever inventive use of similes by our brethren, but I am runing dry. Therefore, this is a plea to all out silver tongued-masters of irony, post your similes here.


Sweating like a scouser in a spelling bee
As amusing as burning orphanage

etc etc.


Book Reviewer
Please Knocker,tell me that's a Wah, or are your reading skills really that bad?
Legs said:
Please Knocker,tell me that's a Wah, or are your reading skills really that bad?

worth a try, it's early. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
dead like madeline?

I'm as bored as Fritzl's daughter

it looked like rolf harris eating a banana

sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop

shaking like Muhammad Ali on a tumble dryer

ripped like a virgin's hymen


Nipples like Bedford wheelnuts(Mil) Regarding a lady in an excited state

Like an Abbo's armpit(Aus) An alledgedly malodorous place.

Pull out my piles and call me macaroni.(Exclamation) An indication of surprise
Left her with a face like a plasterers radio.

Sweating like Michael Jackson at a nativity play.
Sweating like a scouser in court

Sweating like Micheal Jackson on Sesame Street
Maninthestreet said:
My Favourite "As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University". :)

Sounds like a Blackadderism. :lol:


She,s seen more helmets than Hitler.

She s got a fanny like a badly packed kebab

Face like a plasterers radio.

Got a fanny like a Hippos yawn

Shes been shot over more times than Baghdad

Shes handled more balls than David James.

Shes got piss flaps like a gutted trout.

Shes seen more stiffs than Quincy

Shes been cocked more times than John Waynes shotgun.

Even the ferkin tide would not take her out.
Face like a welders bench

Shaking like a shitting dog

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