Funny Sexual Deviant Type Things

#1
An Airborne mate of mine was describing to me the other week what a "Spider Man" was. According to him, if the young lady you are with does not cater for man mess on her face, you should jack in your hand. Once you have done this, you say "Go! Go! Web! and fling your gloop in her grid with an underarm Spidey action type movement. Obviously, a swift exit is advised. Have any arrser's partaken of the Spider Man and if not, are there any other similar deviant stories out there?
 
#2
One of my favorites : The Dirty Sanchez.
Dirty Sanchez is a term used to describe the sexual practice of smearing fecal matter under the nose of the giving partner in the form of a mustache during oral sex,[1] usually accomplished by inserting a finger into one's anus and wiping the material gathered onto the upper lip of one's partner.
.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirty_sanchez
 
#3
the strawberry milkshake; after shooting your mans mess into sexual partners mouth punch partner in the nose forcing patner to drible mans mess out of mouth and to mix with the now bloddy thus producing the strwberry milkshake
 
#4
bawheed said:
the strawberry milkshake; after shooting your mans mess into sexual partners mouth punch partner in the nose forcing patner to drible mans mess out of mouth and to mix with the now bloddy thus producing the strwberry milkshake
And that ladies and gents, is why I got arrested.
 
#5
blackrat_scaleyback said:
An Airborne mate of mine was describing to me the other week what a "Spider Man" was. According to him, if the young lady you are with does not cater for man mess on her face, you should jack in your hand. Once you have done this, you say "Go! Go! Web! and fling your gloop in her grid with an underarm Spidey action type movement. Obviously, a swift exit is advised. Have any arrser's partaken of the Spider Man and if not, are there any other similar deviant stories out there?
Ahhh the romance of the brotherhood! Another little Airborne demonstration of affection is the "Red Eye" by which you shove your rusty sherriffs badge onto your unsuspecting partners left eye whilst simultaneously shouting "RED EYE!"

This of course works just as well in the Barrack room when returning from downtown as refreshed as a newt.

We happy few, we band of brothers eh?
 

stet

War Hero
#6
i always liked "buck em bronco" take her from behind and 1/2 way through say WOW have you thought of dieting your ass is huge and see how long you can stay ni their.
 
#7
Grizzly Bear -

When a guy shaves his pubic hair and hides them under a pillow, then while receiving felatio, he pulls out, ejaculates in her face, and pushes her face into the pile of pubes. When she comes up, she will be covered in pubes, giving the appearance of a grizzly bear
 
#8
Ah the humble red sock.

The practice if dry humping your young lady in the wrong un then, at the point of vinegars, withdrawing with such force that part of her colonic tract is pulled out thus forming a little red sock. :twisted:

The fact that I am still alive is testament to the fact that I have not done this to Mrs Sponge. :whew:
 
#9
smudge67 said:
Grizzly Bear -

When a guy shaves his pubic hair and hides them under a pillow, then while receiving felatio, he pulls out, ejaculates in her face, and pushes her face into the pile of pubes. When she comes up, she will be covered in pubes, giving the appearance of a grizzly bear
I assume that she then grabs you by the scrotal sack and makes of with your pic-a-nic basket?
 
#10
I was always advised to carry round a packet of salt from 'salt n shake' bags of crisps. then as you begin the act starting with some finger hockey rub some salt on your finger and if she yelps you know she has open sores, therefore exit stage left sharpish!
 
#11
The Cleavland Steamer anyone?

The good lady lays on her back with you over her while she fellates you. When your about to shoot your load, take a huge dumb on her chest.

This is not fo rthe amature as good timeing (or a good curry) is needed. That and a pair of running shoes.
 
#12
The Phantom. When doing the lady doggy style, withdraw before vinegars and gob onto the arse area. Lady thinks you have spilt your beans and turns round to face you, thus leaving her face open for target practice. I don't have the balls to try this or the Spider Man with Mrs Blackrat.
 
#13
Boom Chicka Wah Wah -
A sexual practice, one partner takes a shit on the others stomach (Boom) the male partner then slaps the penis in the shit (Chicka) before proceeding to rub the penis under their partners nose (Wah Wah)
 
#14
The "Screaming Seagull"

When you're having rough sex with a girl on the beach and all of a sudden you pull out your c()ck and dip it in the sand, then jam it back inside her as hard as you can causing the bird to scream loudly.
 
#15
Toysoldier_1967 said:
Boom Chicka Wah Wah -
A sexual practice, one partner takes a s*** on the others stomach (Boom) the male partner then slaps the penis in the s*** (Chicka) before proceeding to rub the penis under their partners nose (Wah Wah)
You just made that one up, didn't you?

That's a rubbish one.
 
#16
stet said:
i always liked "buck em bronco" take her from behind and 1/2 way through say WOW have you thought of dieting your ass is huge and see how long you can stay ni their.
Another version known as the 'Rodeo' - Take her 'Doggie Stylee' and half way through, tell her how good she is, but that she doesn't quite come up to scratch with her sister or mother - then see how long you can hold on for?? :twisted:

And if you eva wanna prove that you're a 'Studly Good Fcuk' and make your woman 'hit the ceiling' through s*xual activities - pull out when you're finished and polish your Mutton Maglite on the curtains. :twisted:
 
#17
what about an angry dragon? - Immediately after you blow your load in her mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
 
#18
Rhino_Stopper said:
what about an angry dragon? - Immediately after you blow your load in her mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
That's a good one Rhino! Got me laughing like a window licker!
 
#19
the donkey punch.

doing the good lady doggy style, as you feel the vinegars, punch her in the back of the neck.

causes muscles to contract hard, thus increasing the pleasure.
 
#20
Playing the double bass, whilst being normal practice can be construed as deviant if you're one who can't pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time.
 

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