Funny RCB Stories

Discussion in 'Officers' started by Future_Welbexian, Jul 14, 2006.

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  1. I returned yesterday from my Welbeck RCB, and although it didn't go great I must admit it was amusing at least! 1715 hours, we were all lined up outside the mess, looking like young ladies and gentleman in our blazers, suits and dresses, nervously aniticipating what was to come. It was our interviews, one with a Colonel and Lieutenant Colonel, and another with some Education Officer I believe? Anyway, we walked down towards one of the buildings and were all sitting waiting to be called up, when "45" was shouted from down the hall, so up gets Number. 45 and walks down the hall to his interview, nothing more was thought of it. He returned 15 minutes later, shaking, palms sweating, with a face as bright as could be. The two Colonels, he informed us, had asked him as part of the current affairs questions; "What would I be talking about if I said.....Condolisa Rice" (I believe that is her name?) 45 though, interpreted this as "Condolisa Race" and replied "Horse Racing"!! I must admit, although the RCB didn't go great, this was definately the highlight!

    Any other funny RCB stories?
  2. Wait to see how well you did before you laugh at other people.
  3. I done terrible mate, I don't expect to pass lol but I just thought this was amusing.
  4. mary hinge.

    its a bit like Furry muff

    Fair enough
  5. With grammar like that - it is hardly surprising!!
  6. Your WHAT?

    How the hell can you use those two phrases in the same sentence? Welbeck and RCB - Christ! Hopefully you were there with only other Welbexian types and not sullying a draft of Real Potential officers.
  7. Eugh! A potential Welbexian who doesn't know where the shift or caps lock keys are on their computer. I can almost see the scales from here...
  8. The funniest thing on my (first) RCB was a copy of Punch. The caption competition showed old cartoons from long ago editions and the current one was a general crawling around his office floor in a rage while a very prissy secretary looked in...some wag had scrawled on it "It's okay General, candidate 45 has left now".

    Well it was funny at the time...

    I'll get my coveralls and bib....
  9. This one is from TACB.

    DS watching shapely female candidate attempting to shimmy up a scaffolding pole on a "Leaderless Task"....

    " Do you believe in reincarnation ? - I'd want to come back as a pole..."

    You probably needed to be there....
  10. Did you pass the Welbeck RCB? :?:
  11. Back in the 1970s it was said that one candidate, having failed miserably to get his group over a "gaping chasm with hungry crocs in the river below", lined up the group, and led them over said "chasm" whilst rotating arms above head.

    When asked what he was doing, he replied - "Helicoptering them across, of course!".

    Incredulous observer then asked, "And where exactly did you get the helicopter from?!" To which he replied - "Same place you got the crocs, Sir!"

    Rumour had it he passed with flying colours.

    Probably apocryphal, but I've always liked the story, and it has a certain ring of authenticity to it - could have happened.
  12. BBear

    BBear LE Reviewer

    I heard this one from a mate from his 1st RCB:

    Plan Ex discussion, candidate (say) 45 and DS.

    DS. So, 45, your plan involves leaving the african tracker, african medic and african driver behind to their deaths; how do you justify this?
    45. Well Sir (rather posh voice), partially to fit more medical supplies in, as I can drive. Also, I couldn't possibly take them alone - They're as black as the ace of spades!

    Apparently the DS was on the floor. 45 is apparantly finishing the sausage factory and joining the HCav...
  13. On my RCB, candidate '45' decided she would turn round with a scaffold board and floor the president of the board...
  14. Not really amusing but worth mentioning was a candidate who chose to pay no attention to the group plan. Not surprisingly he then got chosen to present it, not a problem for him as he simply presented his own plan. The difficulty of course arose when the remainder of the syndicate get ripped apart being questioned about a plan of which they had no knowledge! He passed :D
  15. I'll tell you what's funny...this throbber will rise majestically to Colonel rank and possibly beyond. Meanwhile people like his fellows in this syndicate will fall in his wake, stabbed in the back. Or maybe I'm being a wee bit cynical basing this view only on 23 years service? You tell me...