Funny Facts About Op Telic

#1
It has been noticed by my seniors out here in Iraq that i am not actually doing alot. I thought this was part of the job description being a scaley but apparently not!
So they have set me the task of producing a page of ten funny facts abouts Telic per week (i.e. numbers of condoms issued to rounds ratio).
Now i am still a lazy fcuk and cant be bothered so if you have any please post them and save me from doing any work.

Cheers

The Gawp
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#3
The_Gawp said:
It has been noticed by my seniors out here in Iraq that i am not actually doing alot. I thought this was part of the job description being a scaley but apparently not!
So they have set me the task of producing a page of ten funny facts abouts Telic per week (i.e. numbers of condoms issued to rounds ratio).
Now i am still a lazy fcuk and cant be bothered so if you have any please post them and save me from doing any work.

Cheers

The Gawp
You've gotta admire the honesty..... :lol:
 
#5
You've got spare time on your hands and the solution is to get you to compile lists of Telic funnies? :roll:

Surely there are some rocks you could be painting?

Is it just me? :?
 
#6
Are you at the APOD?
 
#7
You're going about this the wrong way, Gawp.

The problem is - amazingly enough, given the corps - you have as much integrity as you have time on your hands. What's the point in being honest when lying is more decorative? So long as what you come up sounds either halfway sensible or is completely impossible to disprove, you can say whatever you like. I mean, if you claim that there is one AK round in private hands for every meter of land in the gulf, who's going to argue? If you claim that Saddam was actually a fan of popular kids TV show "Trapdoor", who's going to go ask him and find out? Hell, you could even take Chuck Norris Facts (http://www.4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck) and throw one of those in every week. There's a ten percent cut in your workload right there.
 
#9
I heard that Comical Ali played the saxophone intro on Jerry Rafferty's 'Baker Street'.
 
#10
I heard that while on Ops, signals juniors dont give a toss what their seniors say and that their senoirs dont do anything about it....
 
#12
the_matelot said:
That’s excellent matelot, you could almost make a quiz out of that,

How many nation in the MNF-I and name them in order of numbers in country?
If the extra cost of the war were divided amongst the troops how much would each get (to the nearest 100K)?
 
#13
Not fcuking enough....

And another thing (hic), why did I qualify for the Veritas medal and not the Telic medal when I

a) was in Iraqi TTW
b) no-where near Afghanistan?????
 
#14
The sole contribution of the Phillipines to the MNF-I Coalition is their Government-funded topless GoGo bar on a converted Dhow moored just off Doha. Fact.
 
#15
The war has nothing to do with oil, its about weapons of mass destruction and stability in the middle east. Fact
 

OldSnowy

LE
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#16
Another true one - Japanese Ground Self Defence Force (OK, Army) CBA is so heavy that several of them have been treated for back injuries caused by wearing it.

Sadly, most of the really, really, interesting 'facts' are so bizarre that no-one would believe them if they were put on Pt 1 Orders :)
 
#18
In insurgent circles, it is considered good luck to present your enemy with a freshly slaughtered kitten before an attack. This is where Army meat comes from.
 
#19
If I were you I would just make them up:

The Remes have used more grease during the current Op TELIC than in any of the previous ones.
If you laid all the chips cooked by the slop jockies in Theatre each day end to end they would stretch to the moon and back. Twice.
There are more females in Theatre than males (which is probably correct if you assume that all RLC are girls).
The British Army is the world's largest single consumer of mayonnaisse.

etc, etc
 
#20
Here's an amazing Telic fact:-

There's more sand in Iraq than there is on the whole of Blackpool beach!

Yes, I know, crazy. 8O But it's a fact! :?
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Effendi Tanks, planes & ships 7
trademarklondon Miscellaneous Jokes 11
W Armed Forces Jokes 54

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top