• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Funny experiences in the paras

#1
Hi chaps, just thought i'd write a message whilst i'm on leave - to all other servicemen (not just paras a la title), post your funniest experiences in the military!

Mine must be when i was doing a HALO drop, but i accidentally pulled the chute at about 6000 ft, took me three hours to finally land, 150 miles from our target. Never gets old when i tell it in the naafi!
 
#8
Spanny said:
scarletto said:
How come your on leave, when you dont join the marines till Feb???
Yeah

And he's obviously obsessed with the para tranasuim . I'd have thought he'd have preferred the maroon machine :?
I often masturbate to the trainasium. The reason I sired that previous thread, was that I was hoping the 'injuries' which possibly occur could bring an individual sexual pleasure. The joints and curves of that bit of kit are beautiful.
 
#10
Spanny said:
lolwut237 said:
Spanny said:
scarletto said:
How come your on leave, when you dont join the marines till Feb???
Yeah

And he's obviously obsessed with the para tranasuim . I'd have thought he'd have preferred the maroon machine :?
I often masturbate to the trainasium.
Sure you're not masturbating to the blokes using it ?
Nah, shame i can't find any footage of it being used for its original purpose. That's one big, expensive sex swing.
 
#11
No joke Ashley Ide told me once he had to rip his way out of his parachute and then fall onto another mans parachute that was 100 foot underneath him. He said he had to keep in a star shape to catch the parachute and then climbed down the string to the other man before landing. He told that story loads of times.
 
#12
kentish-girl said:
No joke Ashley Ide told me once he had to rip his way out of his parachute and then fall onto another mans parachute that was 100 foot underneath him. He said he had to keep in a star shape to catch the parachute and then climbed down the string to the other man before landing. He told that story loads of times.
Will you please fcuk off you dull slut. Get over it! Move on.....or boil your miserable head in some manfat will you.

You're like a broken fcuking record!!
 
#13
My parachute didn't deploy properly once, & I smashed into the ground head first.
Oh no wait, that actually happened to my Action Man after I'd thrown out the bedroom window. :roll:
 
#14
kentish-girl said:
No joke Ashley Ide told me once he had to rip his way out of his parachute and then fall onto another mans parachute that was 100 foot underneath him. He said he had to keep in a star shape to catch the parachute and then climbed down the string to the other man before landing. He told that story loads of times.
Fcuk your bone, would a story about a runaway racing spoon and a spicy ending get you moist?
 
#15
I've only ever made one parachute jump, (charity jump, which i only did to get to shag the lass who organised it) which i completed successfully. The chute opened correctly, and I landed with no drama's whatsoever.
That evening I enjoyed sex the with the lady who arranged the jump, and also a takeaway chinese meal. Sweet & sour chicken, if memory serves correctly.
Do I win £5?
 
#16
kentish-girl said:
No joke Ashley Ide told me once he had to rip his way out of his parachute and then fall onto another mans parachute that was 100 foot underneath him. He said he had to keep in a star shape to catch the parachute and then climbed down the string to the other man before landing. He told that story loads of times.
O my flucking god :roll: :roll: and you shagged him after :lol:
 
#17
Miner said:
My parachute didn't deploy properly once, & I smashed into the ground head first.
Oh no wait, that actually happened to my Action Man after I'd thrown out the bedroom window. :roll:
Someone else had the action man with the parachute? That was the best goddamn toy I ever had, took ages to pack it properly but you could then launch him into the air and he'd come down light as a feather in next door's garden.
 
#18
Twas the NAAFI lisburn in 1971
A fight developed between a visiting Para and a chunky...chunky wins.
the next week some lads came up from palace bks to issue some revenge...and the chunkies knocked the fcuk out of them as well. oh how we laughed.
 
#20
TheMinister said:
Miner said:
My parachute didn't deploy properly once, & I smashed into the ground head first.
Oh no wait, that actually happened to my Action Man after I'd thrown out the bedroom window. :roll:
Someone else had the action man with the parachute? That was the best goddamn toy I ever had, took ages to pack it properly but you could then launch him into the air and he'd come down light as a feather in next door's garden.
The good old days- when Action Man actually went on on ops and killed Germans and what not (well, the inferior action dolls in ill-fitting Wermacht gear)

Nowadays Action Mann tries to invade African states, gets caught handing over cash for his plastic fire-arms and then get's banged-up in Black Beach Jail.

Pull the string and he bleats:

'it was all Mark Thatchers fault...'




thanks be to private eye...
 

Latest Threads

New Posts