Funny experiences in the paras

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by lolwut237, Nov 12, 2009.

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  1. Hi chaps, just thought i'd write a message whilst i'm on leave - to all other servicemen (not just paras a la title), post your funniest experiences in the military!

    Mine must be when i was doing a HALO drop, but i accidentally pulled the chute at about 6000 ft, took me three hours to finally land, 150 miles from our target. Never gets old when i tell it in the naafi!
  2. My chute failed to open. It was well funny when I landed on a trampoline.

  3. Hmm. I'm even embarrased myself.
  4. Well, I did once meet some chaps from 3 Para mortars who invited me to a party..
  5. How come your on leave, when you dont join the marines till Feb???
  6. I was hoping that wouldn't be an issue.
  7. Yeah

    And he's obviously obsessed with the para tranasuim . I'd have thought he'd have preferred the maroon machine :?
  8. I often masturbate to the trainasium. The reason I sired that previous thread, was that I was hoping the 'injuries' which possibly occur could bring an individual sexual pleasure. The joints and curves of that bit of kit are beautiful.
  9. Sure you're not masturbating to the blokes using it ?
  10. Nah, shame i can't find any footage of it being used for its original purpose. That's one big, expensive sex swing.
  11. No joke Ashley Ide told me once he had to rip his way out of his parachute and then fall onto another mans parachute that was 100 foot underneath him. He said he had to keep in a star shape to catch the parachute and then climbed down the string to the other man before landing. He told that story loads of times.
  12. Will you please fcuk off you dull slut. Get over it! Move on.....or boil your miserable head in some manfat will you.

    You're like a broken fcuking record!!
  13. My parachute didn't deploy properly once, & I smashed into the ground head first.
    Oh no wait, that actually happened to my Action Man after I'd thrown out the bedroom window. :roll:
  14. Fcuk your bone, would a story about a runaway racing spoon and a spicy ending get you moist?
  15. I've only ever made one parachute jump, (charity jump, which i only did to get to shag the lass who organised it) which i completed successfully. The chute opened correctly, and I landed with no drama's whatsoever.
    That evening I enjoyed sex the with the lady who arranged the jump, and also a takeaway chinese meal. Sweet & sour chicken, if memory serves correctly.
    Do I win £5?