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Funniest/Strangest war Story from Remembrance Sunday 2005

#1
Chaps and chappesses
Having fallen out from church to the local pub with the rest of the RBL contingent we carried out our traditional drink at the expense of the Branch chairman. Every year he has to part with less filthy lucre sadly as our number grows less. Every year I hear another reminiscence of the last war but this year's purler was a real beaut.

One of the old and bold was an RAMC private during the Desert and Italian campaigns and was the only maxillo-facial technician in that theatre. He told us of a memorable train journey through Italy. The train stopped for a brief period and being a shy and retiring sort he jumped down to the rail bed for a discreet crap. As he squatted he felt as though someone was watching him. Completing his ablutions he looked around in time to see two glowing yellow eyes at lion head height staring intently at him. With one vault he was back on the train and demanding if anybody had a Bren gun to hand.

The lion, male and quite "sporty" was duly shot down and a patrol was sent along the line to see where the beast might have come from. A few hundred yards down the line was a circus carriage all kaput and lying in the wreckage were several more lions - luckily dead - and the half eaten body of their handler. I say handler because he obviously wasn't much of a lion-tamer because he had been severely mauled...

Now air attacks, landmines, shelling, bayonet charges are all in the brochure but to come arrse to face with a male lion is pretty bloody above and beyond the call of duty!

Anyone else got a classy tale from their old and bold?
 

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