Funniest Cnut on ARRSE

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
Had a think about this one.

We spend far too much bandwidth letting the throbbers have air time on this site, so I felt it's high time we started focussing on the positives our more colourful members bring to the sidelines whilst our more serious members are discussing the merits of water wars, political policies and negotiations with Claude Junkyard ...in other words, fuck all to do with the military pastimes of bagging who-ers, wanking onto biscuits and naked roll-matt fighting at 24-hour-o-clock.

So who's your funniest cunt on ARRSE?

Would it be Badger_Heed and his ribbons of sperm? Steven Seagull and his cutting-but-true psycho-analogy of all you've ever posted since you joined? Theoriginalphantom & Sixty's (cough, archbishopmodship, cough) cutting, intelligently thought out quick one-liners? Perhaps you're an "easily offended" new age dope smoking vegan convert who finds the mostlybollocks "oops, don't mind me, you've got a little spot there" humour more to your taste? Or like most of us medal collecting, brave and handsome sexual deviants, specialising in advanced intelligence and fondue hosting - you find you're sat waiting for Spaz's take on any particular thread?

Get your nominations in here, along with quotes (it will help you to learn about Jarrod's search function, if anything).

I've had a look back thro my "ratings given" and apparently I've given out a fair amount of funnies to... Jarrod, Oooh Matron, Badger Heed, VerticalGyro, Spaz, Sixty, The_Duke, Bile_Spewer, Toppers and MostlyBollocks. What a surprise, they're all bummers.

Over to you.
 
Had a think about this one.

We spend far too much bandwidth letting the throbbers have air time on this site, so I felt it's high time we started focussing on the positives our more colourful members bring to the sidelines whilst our more serious members are discussing the merits of water wars, political policies and negotiations with Claude Junkyard ...in other words, **** all to do with the military pastimes of bagging who-ers, wanking onto biscuits and naked roll-matt fighting at 24-hour-o-clock.

So who's your funniest **** on ARRSE?

Would it be Badger_Heed and his ribbons of sperm? Steven Seagull and his cutting-but-true psycho-analogy of all you've ever posted since you joined? Theoriginalphantom & Sixty's (cough, archbishopmodship, cough) cutting, intelligently thought out quick one-liners? Perhaps you're an "easily offended" new age dope smoking vegan convert who finds the mostlybollocks "oops, don't mind me, you've got a little spot there" humour more to your taste? Or like most of us medal collecting, brave and handsome sexual deviants, specialising in advanced intelligence and fondue hosting - you find you're sat waiting for Spaz's take on any particular thread?

Get your nominations in here, along with quotes (it will help you to learn about Jarrod's search function, if anything).

I've had a look back thro my "ratings given" and apparently I've given out a fair amount of funnies to... Jarrod, Oooh Matron, Badger Heed, VerticalGyro, Spaz, Sixty, The_Duke, Bile_Spewer, Toppers and MostlyBollocks. What a surprise, they're all bummers.

Over to you.
Saved it for a Friday night....like it
 
One of my fave postings:

Originally Posted by HappyNomad

Dashing Chap,

Please take this constructive criticism in the spirit in which it is given (purely malevolently that is) but I think you are cunt of such cuntish magnitude that compared to you, dear old Mr Cunty Cuntington-cunt, lately of cunt House, cunt Street, Cuntsville, in the county of Cuntshire, Cuntland, was but a fecking trainee.
So 2012..Who's the ARRSE 'Cunt of the year'

like the very poetic "ribbons of sperm glinting in the winter sunlight....open mouth intercepted their trajectory..." by Bile Spewer (I think).

Jarrod is not as funny as he used to be. I think he's getting on a bit now though.
 
Last edited:

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
Steven Seagull and his cutting-but-true psycho-analogy of all you've ever posted since you joined? .

.
Indeed, what's happened to Uncle Shitehawk?

Best one I heard lately was from VG: "Unfortunately, not all of us have the luxury of being unemployable". That's stored away for future use...
 
Indeed, what's happened to Uncle Shitehawk?

Best one I heard lately was from VG: "Unfortunately, not all of us have the luxury of being unemployable". That's stored away for future use...
He's still 'dive bombing' us and nicking stray chips on here.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer

wheel

LE
Had a think about this one.

We spend far too much bandwidth letting the throbbers have air time on this site, so I felt it's high time we started focussing on the positives our more colourful members bring to the sidelines whilst our more serious members are discussing the merits of water wars, political policies and negotiations with Claude Junkyard ...in other words, **** all to do with the military pastimes of bagging who-ers, wanking onto biscuits and naked roll-matt fighting at 24-hour-o-clock.

So who's your funniest **** on ARRSE?

Would it be Badger_Heed and his ribbons of sperm? Steven Seagull

I've had a look back thro my "ratings given" and apparently I've given out a fair amount of funnies to... Jarrod, Oooh Matron, Badger Heed, VerticalGyro, Spaz, Sixty, The_Duke, Bile_Spewer, Toppers and MostlyBollocks. What a surprise, they're all bummers.

Over to you.
Strange I had those two down as moderators socks
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
Auld Sapper and the Stumpy stories.

also

RTFQ - PBUH
 
I've had a look back thro my "ratings given" and apparently I've given out a fair amount of funnies to... Jarrod, Oooh Matron, Badger Heed, VerticalGyro, Spaz, Sixty, The_Duke, Bile_Spewer, Toppers and MostlyBollocks. What a surprise, they're all bummers.

Over to you.
You're far too modest, you've missed yourself off that list...
 

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
Right...

This isn't a moderator discussion thread, random speculation thread, what happened to thread... I know it's tricky but I'll say it again, nominate a funny fucker.

Give it a try...

@Graculus apologies, you posted that just before I did. I was replying to the usual bellends who clearly have nothing positive left in their lives who live on pot noodles and smell of used tampons.
 

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